Norway Part 4 - Truth or Consequences in Magical Realism

The next morning we were woken up by some loud people being dropped off at the hotel entrance. It was our group, shouting and laughing at 10am. After some time we started to hear them through the wall next door. I responded to their messages letting them know we were in the next room and asked them what happened after we left.

They said that after we left, they finally got to go swimming. Then they had lunch (at 9pm), went kayaking and then dressed for dinner and had dinner outdoors just after around 11pm. The sun had not set but they said it was absolutely freezing, so after dinner they went hot-tubbing. The next day production woke them up for an early morning “brunch” and while they were filmed eating, the chief stew told them they needed to return to land to get COVID tests. They left all their stuff in the cabins and headed back to town. After their tests, instead of returning to the boat, they were brought to the quarantine hotel and were put in the room next to ours with a bunch of board games.

I texted production to ask if they would be bringing me and A for an additional COVID test as discussed, and they called me back and said they were still working with the Norwegian government on next steps. She said that they were having an issue with the fact that my original positive test result from July was from a facility in Russia and could not accept it as proof I’d had COVID recently.

She then told me if I got any phone calls from +47 country code (Norway) I should not answer it, and to just let them know. This seemed super strange so I asked why and she told me it would be someone from the government who would not speak English so I should just let them know and they’d have someone who spoke Norwegian give them a call back instead. She was right - I don’t speak Norwegian but I know a rødt flagg when I see one.

So of course when I received that call I answered it. They greeted me in Norwegian and I politely asked if we could speak in English. Not an issue - it was a contact tracer calling with the government medical service calling to confirm the list of contacts that had been submitted on my behalf after my positive COVID result. I explained the situation about the television filming and that it seemed that someone from that team had submitted the list on my behalf. The contract tracer confirmed it was sent by the production “fixer” and offhandedly mentioned that the list was just 10 people - my group, one of the production assistants, and two van drivers. I told him that was not correct and he seemed very surprised by this, but gave me the email address to submit my full/correct list.

I took some time to think through everything I’d done since being in Norway and make a full and complete list. I also followed up with production to see if they had any news for us on next steps and told them about the call I’d received. They said the fixer must have inadvertently left some of the people I’d interacted with off the list, so I asked them to send me the list of contacts that had been submitted on my behalf and I would add to it and send back to them to send to the government.

Then I got the email the fixer had submitted to the contract tracer on my behalf. The top bit, in English, seemed in keeping with what production had told me, an incomplete list which could have been a mistake. Then I read down the rest of the email trail, which was in Norwegian, but it popped it into Google Translate and got another surprise. The text in Norwegian, clearly stated that my group and I had never gotten on the boat, and we had only been in contact with each other, one production assistant and two van drivers.

This was obviously an intentional lie to cover up the fact that they had put us all on the boat before they had the required negative tests and that we had all interacted with the full main cast in close quarters for hours (as well as overnight for everyone but me and A) before the positive result came in. I wish I could say I was surprised but at this point I wasn’t.

I submitted the full list of contacts and clarification that we had been on the boat and the previous list/details were a misrepresentation. A doctor called me back to confirm details verbally and thank me for telling the truth. She was very helpful and said she’d get back to me on my personal medical/quarantine situation. Then she said, ominously, “In Norway, we assume people are telling the truth. But when they do not tell the truth, there are consequences.”

After the Norwegian government investigated, production was shut down and I believe the next two charters were cancelled/rescheduled. Since our window faced the hotel entrance I would sometimes cast/crew complaining about me, calling me a bitch and stuff like that.

I confronted the producers and COVID safety coordinator about the lies and the COVID coordinator said she would investigate what had had happened. She blamed it all on the “fixer” and claimed she had been kept out of the loop. I didn’t really believe her - it was obvious at this point that they all would lie cheat and steal to keep filming going. The COVID coordinator was fired shortly and/or quit after that and we saw her leave for the airport the next day.

After all that it was apparent that we never should have been on the boat in the first place, so I requested production refund my charter fee, return the cash tip production was holding in escrow, and agree not to use any footage from our time on the boat. They agreed to return the cash and said they would look into my other requests.

After spending most of the day in the same room, the other six guests were split back out into their rooms of two in the quarantine hotel. The boat crew re-packed their suitcases for them and delivered them to the hotel.

The very kind and professional doctor called me back and broke the news that we did need to remain in full isolation, since the government did not have any protocol for non-citizens as they were closed for tourism. If I had been a Norwegian citizen, I could have left as originally scheduled, since you only had to be vaccinated to travel freely at the time. Instead I would not be able to leave the hotel room for 10 days after my positive test, plus another 10 days since I was quarantining with A in the theoretical event that I gave him COVID on the 10th day. That was a bit of a blow, not just to miss the charter but to be cooped up another 20 days in a hotel room. I was happy to be with A but other than that was not in good spirits.

Everyone involved including the rest of our group had to do the “soft” quarantine again, similar to when we arrived. They all complained but I was so envious of them going out each day to swim and hike and then share photos online of all the fun they were having. I was bitter! The most hurtful thing was that after a full slate of swimming, kayaking, and hot-tubbing after we were taken off the boat, I heard my guests toasted me at dinner, saying we were missed but also quipping, “If she’s not here, do we still have to pay tip?”

I did get the tip cash back (weirdly minus $450 but like I said, lie cheat and steal) and gave everyone back the cash they’d given towards the tip. Most of our guests came by to pick theirs up through the door but one refused to take the cash and A ended up throwing it into the window since they were next door. So funny.

Since my charter refund/footage request was still in limbo, I was still upset with my guests not just because they didn’t seem to care that the person footing the bill was gone and possibly ill, but also because they had played into production’s hands by packing 3 activities and 3 meals into the short time between our leaving and the next morning. I felt like this not only gave them potential material for an episode (which was obviously the goal) but also provided ammunition for not refunding my charter fee since my guests had used the boat even if I effectively hadn’t.

After a few more days, everyone else cleared their soft quarantine and headed home. We were in contact via whatsapp throughout, and before they left a few people kindly asked if we wanted them to bring us anything. We had already been there a week longer than anticipated and hadn’t packed enough travel toothpaste, so we were running out. I asked them to bring us some toothpaste and some wine as a treat. They brought us two bottles of wine which was lovely, but then they also brought an opened tube of some french brand of toothpaste. This seemed odd so I asked where it had come from and they said they weren’t sure - the pharmacy was too far to walk but the crew had mistakenly put the tube into their bags when they repacked the rooms so they gave it to me. I was so grossed out and completely pissed off they couldn’t even walk a kilometer to do this small thing for us.

Other than that, the quarantine days passed fairly quickly, working and sleeping on a reverse schedule again. The food was laughably awful and I felt like the whole situation was another bitch slap from the universe for venturing back out into the world.

We cleared quarantine and got ready to fly the next day. Since we were finally able to leave the room, we went for dinner/drinks nearby. Around 3am there was a fire alarm so we had to exit the building. We had both been awake and working given the time difference, so left quickly and decided to take a walk around the harbour in the dark. It was so quiet and beautiful. I felt sad we weren’t able to enjoy such a beautiful place given the circumstances, but figured we’ll be back on our own terms next time if we ever decide to return.

Last updated February 08, 2023