23:01
Not many philosophical thought today. I’m a call this new arc my blueprint arc, cause I’m like building and developing myself, my likings n shi. Imma try to go boy clothes and do braids in my hair and different new things.
I’m kinda exhausted and need constant sugar but it’s fine.
I will be going for lunch this Friday w S, I, J m that people, even tho Marco is going, idk. I can’t let my possible relationship with people I find cool n interesting just disappear coz Marco is friends w them too. This is my blueprint arc, I’ll try to control the circumstances instead of letting them control me.
Ofc with some margin, specially family. I despise father more everyday, he doesn’t stfu.
I had a small little thought that I saw as un possible. Maybe I have some forgotten traume. I don’t think so coz my family isn’t even that violent and I have “good memory” for hard times. But I don’t discard having that memory completely erased.
The monograph and internal assessments n shi re killing me. I literally have no idea. I hate this kind of homework, it feel like I’m just waiting for a great idea to suddenly come to my mind, and I’m running out of time.
Small thought, I want to read a lot beacuase olga reads a lot (she wants to be a literature teacher so it makes total sense) and I instinctively don’t want any of my classmates to be extremely better than me on anything. I’m unconsciously competitive.
23:08
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