Starbucks characters in Two chicks talking while having coffee

Meg: Met her in about 2008 during winter break. I was religious then, skirts and wigs and the whole thing. She was, and still is, dressed in ripped jeans and a 2x baggy coat or hoodie, even though she’s like a size 10. She’s a lover of banksy, David Bowie, and other pop artists. She has bipolar and takes lithium, lives with a shitty mom and brother. But about two years ago finally started to work part time at Marianos. So it’s been good for her to save money and have some freedom. She la super picky about her coffee. 2 shots in a venti cold cup, filled with ice and water, and the water has to be in a side cup, and the cream has to be in a side cup so she can mix it herself since no one knows how. 😂

Buck: He’s now retired, but I let him at Starbucks and realized he occasionally comes to Shul. He used to buy buildings and then divide them up into offices and rent them out to businesses. He’s made a lot of money flipping houses. He is into reading New York Times best sellers especially historical fiction, and tends to come to Starbucks at 6am to spend 30 mins reading in their bathroom before he gets a coffee and reads in their chairs. He’s a fabulous lover of the arts and bought a watercolor from me for $500. He’s traveled the world. And he started a non-profit organization that assists people who have children with disabilities so they can live in a group home situation with support because he has a son with cerebral palsy, and it’s allowed the young adults (age 20+) to have some freedom while also keeping touch with home every third weekend (they go home), job training etc.

Chris: He’s about 55? He’s an artist, gay, and his partner used to be some kind of manager of design at ikea. I keep joking he should help us set up a new closet. He’s fabulous and does acrylic paintings that are abstract, makes scarves, and started a website 5 years ago. His philosophy is to point and sell most paintings for $300 because “it makes it simple.” All art works are paired with an original soundtrack as his inspiration.

Chaim: He’s about 6’3 or so, reminds me of the kind of build of someone like Andre the Giant. He’s a Jewish guy about 35 years old maybe older, black curls, dresses like a shlub (slob) sometimes. He makes money by delivering food, and renting out apartments. He is always doing some dumb real estate deal or offering to drive someone to Cincinnati and back for $400. He’ll basically do almost anything as long as it doesn’t lock him down into a regular job or schedule. He knows all the usual gossip in our community, even shit I’m not aware of.

Terri: She’s pretty cool. She’s a lawyer turned barista on the weekends. She basically takes work from law firms and works from home, and then works at Starbucks on the weekend for health insurance. She’s super nice and got burned bad by her ex. She worked and put him through medical school, and as soon as he finished he wanted a divorce. So she lives with her Shelty “Rosie” and likes a good drink once in a while.

Mike: He doesn’t come around much anymore. Back about 2010, he’d chat away with Meg and Tracy. He was an old skinny guy with balding hair and a curly gray patch on his head. He wore reading classes, has a nose like Walter Matthau, and a brown cane. He’d sit in a chair and basically talk shit about how the women looked. One time I told him to look in the mirror. He told the ladies, “I don’t think she likes me.” 😂 After covid, no one saw him much. I did see him waiting for the liquor store to open. Sad drunk.

Harrison: He’s in his forties. He’s autistic or something and comes into Starbucks and talks with everyone. His memory is amazing. Tell him your birthday and he will tell you which day of the week you were born and how old you are. He has a job at a restaurant and has taken the same bus there for ten years and stops at Starbucks before work.

Tracy: I met Tracy when she started coming to Starbucks. She’s like 5’8” and blonde dyed hair. She’d always wear lululemon leggings and running shoes with an iPad and ear buds. She’s definitely Italian. She’d always be talking with Meg. For ten years she’s lived with a doctor and his family because she was the nanny for their son. But when the son grew up it’s like she never left. She kept living with them in their basement without paying any bills. So she’s take on other nanny jobs and live in their basement because she said “we’re like family.” She kind of lost it back in 2019, because they wanted her to pay like $400/mo to help contribute for hills. She would rant about it while we weee having coffee and she’d be scrolling through apartment rentals to see if she could get a place. But there’s nothing under $1200/mo. She wanted to only pay $600/mo and get a roommate. She’s tried to get Meg to split with her. She also has an obsession with Las Vegas and would plan trips. The last we saw her she came back from Vegas, and wanted us to go with her for a girls weekend, and before we could plan or say yes, she booked tickets again and then pressured us. I told her I couldn’t do it with three kids and then Meg yelled at her to stop pressuring her, so she got mad and left. We’ve never seen her again. She said she was only 43. Google says that’s a lie, she was 61.

Narnia: That’s her nickname. A barista who was in high school. Met her a couple years ago and she started college. The manager wouldn’t let her pick up extra shifts from other stores and so she quit to work at a restaurant. I still see her occasionally.

Marat: Originally, I didn’t hang with him. Meg met him around 2014? He’s a Ukrainian transplant and came over as a kid. Jewish. Married a lady who has chronic pain and has two kids with her. A son who is now 19? And basically just goes on his computer all day, and a daughter who is now about 14 with a rare genetic disorder. Anyway, he’s a mechanic, and the entire family is vegan. He also has an ex wife who is lesbian and owns a bakery here, and he has an older son who works at the bakery. The kid is out of touch. But anyway. Marat basically has a sex addiction issue. He has a side chick and a fetish for big women. He says, “They ain’t for me unless they’re over 250.” I get why he cheats, but he’s really a mess. Get it together dude. I do have to say he’s been a good friend and support to Meg. So that’s why I’m cool with him. He goes out of his way to help people.

Last updated January 22, 2023