23:52
Ok so let’s start. Right now I have a huge headache, my legs hurt and I’m down listening to no. 6
So first thing that happened, on class, Alex kinda dropped sum. We were going into 2nd period and were talking bout overall drama and chism. He was joking saying he had a lotta contacts n stuff (coz there a lot of chism that goes untold) and that he knew sum bout B, but he never told us because he believes it’s too personal. WTF, WHAT IS It. In my mind I went apeshit, lotta theories, is he in love with someone? Is it a girl? Is it something we don’t expect not bout romance? Remember this part, more into that later.
I forgot telling yesterday, days are starting to go by a lot faster, this week was seconds long. I also feel very ugly Rn and I’m having another attack that I can’t remedy.
Well what else, he did lay his head on me today just one, we talked a bit byt I still believe in as unimportant for him as I’ve always been.
His birthday, important things: I think I looked too bad, this thing of looking homeless alongside my overall anorexic look doesn’t help w impressions. More stuff, we played the wolf, I got the thief and literally destroyed the wolves. I made the whole match. Alex, Andrea, specially B and some more recognised me n stuff, which I liked ofc, but I also believed they kinda got aware of how perspicacious I could be. That could either make them consider me more intelligent and mature or make them be like more afraid of me.
More, got a lotta chism from Isis bout Marco n stuff, also some Jimmy but that was it.
Brother left a watch in my room, it just started ringing, I was milimiters away from throwing it through the windows with all my strength.
S and I also talked to me a bit bout what I thought bout their own relationship (I told them I support it and I think they’re great) and stuff in general. Throughout the night, Matro made the comment that I “have had the least romantic history, but that I give great advice”, also came the idea of that “I have always been 17” I feel old and I look older, it’s also funny that grandma tells me I’m like grandpa. Also Isis mentioned slightly that now she has someone else to talk to (referring to me) but I wish she doesn’t because honestly, I don’t really like her that much and don’t wanna hear her problems.
The thing, N asked me what I thought bout BxM3, coz they were sleeping really close one another on that sleepover the 7. I told them I didn’t know but I kinda liked the ship n he said he believed they were already together n blah blah. More people talked bout it too. I played it normal, but I was destroyed. He loved someone? A girl? They were already dating? M3 also liked someone? And it was B? What the hell, I even got two minimal theories were they liked me. I was boutta cry. I got home later. I like walking at dark at night, but I don’t like mom telling me to get back.
On the overall day that’s it, tomorrow gr. I’m not doing gym today. This headache is really huge. I kinda feel alone now, and very sad, I gotta see B again tomorrow and I’m about to crumble. I want someone.
Gotta play it cool and survive.
p0:10
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