22:42
At this point this is just therapeutic.
So fast for today.
I felt very jealous bout B and S friendship n friendships in general. I wish I had anybody, I feel pretty alone.
Paco congratulated me for that competition last week. There’s a lot of pressure on me. The regional championship is at the end of this month and I’m scared.
I’m phys destroyed but I’m a do more gym because I feel horrible. I also wanna tried to braid my hair but I couldn’t.
I’m academically exhausted, I can’t do a single page more. Like I’d do thousand of exercises on math or physics but I can’t see a single philosophy text or Imma die. I also have no idea bout why Imma do w monograph and I gotta have the topic ready due next month. It gets me anxious.
I’m listening to slap to cover how down I feel today. Emphasis on how alone I feel. I’m on a valley today. Hopefully I get better tomorrow at that birthday but I don’t think so since there’s a lotta people going who are like… yk, not like me.
I can’t keep going like this, being as pessimistic as I’m always, I could end up crying on the floor at any moment. Every day I wake up, I spend a few moments just trying to gather the will to get outta bed.
22:48
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