I'm going with the philosophy that no new is good news with my son. We visited the cardiologist this weekend and several tests were done. Even after seeing him spend the first few weeks of his life living in an incubator, it still scares me a little to see such a tiny baby going through such extreme medical procedures that I've never even had to experience.
The doctor essentially just told me that he would be reviewing the results and we'd be talking again. In the meantime, everything seems normal. He's like any other baby. Nothing alarming and no warning signs that something is wrong. I hope it stays that way.
Things are starting to feel normal again. Jayson asked me this week if I was ready to start planning a wedding. I think I am, and I told him so. I'm happy he still wants to marry me after everything we have been through. He asked me if I was still committed to monogamy and I told him I definitely am. After years of not being sure, I am now. I only want to be with him. And even though I have had my struggles with temptation, I haven't cheated on him in years. And I'm not going to.
It's strange how a couple weeks after child birth, even knowing I'm still sore on certain spots, I really want sex. It's happened all three times. I think to myself that it will be a while before I want to be touched and then that feeling goes away very quickly. I think doctors suggest that you wait six weeks. After my first child, I don't think we even waited 10 days. After the second and third, we waited a little longer, but not much. I feel much more sexual than I have in a long time, but no desire to be with anyone other than Jayson.
Of course, with three children in the house, the chances of getting some quiet time alone is now even smaller.
Childbirth in the past has had some impact on my incontinence issues, both positive and negative, and I have made an appointment to see my urologist this week to see if anything has changed. Her diagnosis for me for some time now is that I will most likely never see improvement, but I still be optimistic. My oldest is diaper free now and someday I will be the only one in the family who wears them.
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