3 BENEFITS OF TALKING TO RANDOM STRANGERS (WELL, SOMETIMES AT LEAST) in LIFE IN THE TIMES OF CORONA: The Real-Life Twilight Zone

“Seriously? Are you so lonely that you need to do that? Where are your friends anyway?”

Some people may think that the moment they read the title above. Why bother? Aren’t random strangers creepy, especially these days?

Okay, I know that in so many cases, random strangers are indeed creepy. However, let’s not overly generalize the category, eh? It’s the “not all random strangers” moment here, hehe.

The truth is, we all start off as strangers to one another. It’s more about one’s willingness to get to know each other. As long as you’re not a minor and you know how to flee in case something goes wrong, sometimes taking the risk for this can be worth it.

So, here are the three (3) benefits of talking to random strangers:

1. Clearing the air of awkwardness and discomfort.
   It’s never easy to be surrounded by strangers, no matter how confident you (think you) are. Imagine your very first day in school and you don’t know anybody just yet. How to make new friends, then?

Introduce yourself to the first or closest person – or people – you see. You can also do that after they introduce themselves to you first. Whichever way may work, that is. Either way, it’s just the same: it may work to clear the air of awkwardness and discomfort.

Maybe you will not make an instant friendship with them and that’s okay. After all, good things take time and process. At least, you challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone. Invite new people into your life. Let them decide what to do with that, the same thing you do when you are offered the same invitation.

1. Obviously, making new friends.
   As mentioned earlier, we all start off as strangers. What may turn us into friends is our mutual willingness to get to know each other. We also need to maintain our friendship the best way we know how.

We may meet them at school, at work, or at certain social events. If we really click, especially from the beginning, then we may find new friends in each other.

I remember one morning I went into the teachers’ room of the school I used to work for. I saw another guy already there, alone. We both exchanged curious glances before I started to speak up.

Thankfully, he responded positively and we got to talk. After three such encounters and a year later … guess what? He and I became buddies.

Sometimes, you never know who might be your friends next. All you can do is find out. Your instinct might help you.

1. Giving more insight (more knowledge and – hopefully – a clearer perspective).
   Okay, so maybe you can’t always clear the air of discomfort and awkwardness completely … or at all. You may not end up as friends with that random stranger you talk to. You may never see each other again after that single conversation. Even if you do, you may not remember or recognize each other that much, which is fine.

At least, you can still receive something to gain more knowledge or a clearer perspective.
In Indonesia, I am always wary of random, nosy strangers asking (or, should I say, prying) about my marital status. It may seem an innocent question at first, but not when you know that – after you say you’re still single – most of them will use your answers to mercilessly judge you.

I always hate it when so many Indonesians still think it’s normal. I never (want to) know what it means when they say that it’s “part of being an Indonesian or living in Indonesia.” Does it always have to be that way? Why?

So I often try to steer the conversation started off by some random stranger to topics that I feel more comfortable with. The weather. Horror stories. Urban legends. Books. TV shows. The current news. Cats …

Sometimes first impressions may fool you. For example, the nicest-looking people happen to be the rudest or the weird-looking person you’d rather avoid turns out to be completely harmless. Sometimes you just have to risk it. Take a chance to find out.

Don’t Forget To Use Your Instinct

Not all random strangers are creepy. Otherwise, you may not find friends easily.

However, don’t forget that the ‘stranger-danger’ warning still applies in some cases. Don’t forget to use your instinct too. Unless you’re a real psychic, you can’t easily read minds or guess people’s truest intentions with you. You can only try your best to be careful when you interact with other people, whoever they are.

R.