Bathroom seat thoughts in Daily thoughts

So yesterday’s exams went pretty well , but I will never know until I get the results , cus my mind tends to deceive me into thinking I did well to protect me from depression and anxiety, honestly at this point I’m willing to suffer from depression and anxiety rather than being trapped in an imaginary world with i version of myself I can’t even put the effort to become him , I wish I could stop procrastinating and daydreaming but it took me years to get here and the thought of me having to keep working for even longer years to recover from this overwhelms me into doing nothing, I wish I could be better after waking up .