Call me, maybe. in So Far Away

I’m trying so hard to reconnect with my husband.
I don’t really know why he pulled away, I have some ideas though.
He started a new position at his job 7 months ago.
At first, he was busy on a near constant.
He was traveling, or at social engagements for work all of the time.
I didn’t get to spend any time with him for 4 months.
In the beginning, he made it a priority to video call me before bed.
He would order take in, and he would talk to me for a few hours before bed.
These video calls became shorter, and slowly stopped over time.
Eventually, I’d receive a quick good night call sans video.
Fast forward, and I’d be lucky to even get a call.
I grew envious of his coworkers, associates, and anyone in his company.
I became bitter, and my moods started to fluctuate.
Instead of being happy for him, I started to resent his success.
I wanted to be proud to say I was the wife of the CTO, but I just wasn’t.
On July 4th, he invited me to the company picnic.
This was the first event I was allowed to attend, since he started in April (2022).
I didn’t feel very welcomed, but I tried to be as polite and nice as possible.
He disagrees with me, that they were cold and unreceptive to me.
I have tried to change my perspective, I realize that my bitterness may skew my perception.
I do not like Veronica, in particular.
She was too close to him, too frequently.
They had inside jokes that he’s never even thought to mention to me.
In fact, until that day she was only mentioned once in passing.
My alarms sounded, I was internally frantic that there was something more between them.
I smiled through my panic, and I laughed along with their conversation.
When we got home, I had made some comments about her that he didn’t like.
We went to bed angry, which is something I try not to do.
He started to shut down at that time, but not as much as he has now.
2 months ago, I was going through a stack of mail and found an invitation.
There was a family dinner night at his bosses house, my husband (and family) was invited.
He never once mentioned this dinner to me.
I scrolled to our text messages from that day, and I realized that it was the same night he came home late.
He had told me that he worked late when he got home, and I didn’t question this.
I sent him a message asking about the dinner, and if he had attended it.
He stated that he stopped by after work for a bit, but he didn’t stay long.
I asked why he didn’t let me know about it, and he said it slipped his mind.
I wasn’t satisfied with that answer, and of course I asked if Veronica had attended.
He said that she was there, and I overreacted.
I later went on Facebook, and I found his bosses wife’s page.
I went through her photos, and came across some pictures from that night.
Veronica was there with her own husband, and looked very happy and glued to his side.
Where was my husband in these photographs? Certainly not with Veronica.
He was standing by Genevieve, which is his bosses wife.
I wanted to apologize to my husband, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.
I didn’t want to say, “Hey, I stalked your bosses wife’s facebook to see if I could catch you cheating, and you passed the test!”
Instead, he came home from work to a fully cooked meal. His favorite meal.
He was suspicious, as I hadn’t cooked in over a year.
We hadn’t been on the best of terms, so I explained that I’d like to fix that.
He half smiled, and said “That’d be nice.”
We ate in silence, not even engaging in small talk.
After dinner, he helped me clean the kitchen. I enjoyed having him so close to me.
I suggested we watch something on TV, but he declined and went to shower.
I waited for him to come back to the living room after the shower, but he never did.
I found him asleep in bed a little while later, so I crawled in bed myself.