hehe oops... in Daily Ranting

well… so much for trying to hold myself accountable.
last week on wednesday i had a panic attack and had to leave work early. i still had to sit in the parking lot for an hour before i could stop crying. i told my boss before i left that i would need to use a week of my pto for an emergency. it got approved yaay. so i’m on vacation this week. its only tuesday and i already wish i was back at work. my mom and brother aren’t talking to each other right now and of course i’m stuck in the middle of their fight. i don’t really understand what happened or what the issue is but as always i find myself in the middle of two people who are fully capable of talking to each other. its annoying.
since i’ve been off work i’ve gone through a bottle of malibu. mixing that and orange juice has really been making me happy lately. i try not to drink much but i have no other responsibilities this week so if i wanna start drinking at 11 am who can stop me. plus a single bottle in almost 7 days isn’t so bad. feels pretty tame to me. i’m trying to go through my stash so i got that going starting with the rum. i have one other bottle of that and theres only a quarter of that left. so i think i can get through that today. it’s my aunts birthday so i think she can join me for a couple drinks.
they are preparing dinner right now so i’m gonna submit this and do a speed run on those 3000 questions i wanna answer from the book i bought. wish me luck
hope you’re well.