I Know Why in General

I finally know why I can’t let her go.
She is the only truly “good” person I have met in my life. Perfectly good.

My parents are good. They always try to do the right thing. They instilled that in me.

If you can help, you do.

But we all have our own idiosyncrasies.

She was an empath. She felt your pain before you did.

Really. It took me ten years to figure this out?

We’d sit on the couch, legs intertwined. Having an innocuous conversation. I’d mention I
really didn’t know where my life was going, and I always tried to make it sound like “our life.”

It always felt flat.

She knew. I was in physical pain. I never confess the fact that my back and hips and now my shoulders and elbows ache. All. The. Time.

With enough adrenaline I can push myself through almost any task. But good gawd do I pay for it.

When I quit GD, her inner empath jumped on me. She saw me going down the drain and tried to save me. It is the only explanation I can come up with.

Her physical beauty rocked my world.

But it was her soul that captured me.

She owns me to this day