i'm trying to hold myself accountable in Daily Ranting

happy saturday!
i hope you are well. i had a great day today hanging out with my brother. we went to breakfast and then went shopping. he’s been working a lot lately and he is trying to get a head start on his christmas shopping. i think it’s great and i really enjoyed our time together. i miss my nephew though. ever since the younger one was born i usually take the older one on friday and saturday and either drop him back off at my brother’s on saturday night or sunday morning depending on if i’m working or not. but this weekend my two nephews went to their mom’s family’s place for the weekend.
i’m not too fond of my brother’s girlfriend and i think he knows it. there’s just something about her that makes me uneasy. but. they have two kids together and my opinion doesn’t matter. i can complain about her until i’m blue in the face but she’s part of the family and i have to respect it.
i bought a few toys for my nephew. his birthday is exactly one week before mine in december. i told both of them that i would like to throw him a birthday party. i know december is still a while from now but i’ve never had to plan a whole party. i’m not a fan of celebrating my own birthday but this year i want to be different. i usually spend my birthdays alone and sad because i have sad memories of my birthday but this year i’m sharing a party with my nephew. i want it to be mickey mouse themed. i’m so excited. my mom agreed to pay for drinks, my aunt is paying for the cake and my grandma is getting a piñata made. i’ve been looking at pictures online of similar themed parties online and i definitely need to hire a professional. i just don’t know how soon i need to book the professional for a simple birthday party. and it’s not going to be super big either. it will for sure be less than 30 people. regardless.
i also went to target looking for mini mason jars because i want to soak some gummy bears in vodka but i didn’t find any. i made a couple batches a few weeks ago and took them to a friend’s house for a game night and left them there on accident. when i asked for them back he said the lids were probably thrown away because he couldn’t track any of them down. it sucks but we were a drunken mess. theres really no one to blame. what i did find though was a prompt book called ‘3000 questions about me’ i was intrigued so i bought it. this was a couple hours ago. when i got home i got a notebook and started writing the question followed by my answer. i have a thing about keeping notebooks with things. just like writing here, i’m trying to hold myself accountable for answering the questions. i’m dating the tops of the pages because i find that i can answer a few of the questions in one sitting. i got home around 3 and that when my brother left. so since 3 until now about 9:30 i have answered 59 questions.
question 60 is ‘how old do you think is too old to have a baby?’
baby questions make my stomach drop still. i think this is a good stopping point until i can figure out if i can answer this without freaking out. maybe ill explain in a later post. until then
talk to you later