What a waste in In dreams

Well people are assholes. I didn't get the fucking job but what a surprise right? I was unbelievably fucking hurt that I had a great interview, was told I would be called yesterday morning before 11 and I never got a fucking call. While I was getting ready for the wedding, I had to call them. Fucking bullshit. Only to be slapped across the face being told that they decided to hire other candidates with more experience. THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE ME WASTE TIME AND GAS TO DRIVE DOWN THERE FOR A FUCKING INTERVIEW THAT MEANT NOTHING WHEN YOU ALREADY HAD MY RESUME AND KNEW MY FUCKING EXPERIENCE?! Fucking assholes.

Im just completely sad at this point. I just don't have any words for this shit anymore. I've tried so fucking hard over the last two months and have been given the run around and shot down to the ground and/or not even called back at all when I follow up. Don't get me wrong, Im glad I left my last job with all the bs and ridiculousness there but I hate not having income coming in.

The wedding yesterday was beautiful. Th ceremony was held at this japanese garden place and the reception was at a hotel. Getting out of the japanese garden place was a bitch because its so small but im glad we went to the reception.The food was delicious to. So fucking glad blake's dad didn't end up going to the wedding. Thank god. Although blake's aunt really pissed me the fuck off. Sorry but I don't give a flying fuck why you hate obama and why you think he's the worst president we've ever had. You could fucking tell I didn't want to talk about politics, especially at a wedding, so shut the fuck up!

I hate talking to people about why I like obama anyway and I can't stand it when people bring it up and try to change my mind. Im not going to change my fucking mind and even if I actually did, it wouldn't be because someone fucking influenced me. I felt like yelling at her but im not going to cause a scene at someone's wedding.

I bought these heels for the entire wedding but omg they killed me and I only wore them at the ceremony and to look around the garden. I just took them off and threw them in the backseat and just wore flats at the reception.

At this point, Im wondering if im ever going to get fucking hired again. Im a good worker and have a lot of good qualities and I don't fucking understand this. I can't even be happy for anyone anymore when they post bullshit like "I got the job!"

I have a friend of mine that is very nice and she just posted that she got offered three different jobs in the last week. Oh go fuck off.

I just can't be happy when people say that, unless I actually get a job. This is terrible sounding I know but this is how I feel. Im fucking sick of watching how everyone's life is going fucking fantastic and mine never goes anywhere no matter what the hell I do. I've seriously done so much shit to get a job and changing my resume and applying for jobs and everything else. I just want to rip my hair out because of this. And punch someone. I wanted to scream at the lady on the phone yesterday who didn't even want to fucking apologize for not calling me when she said she would. Waiting all morning for a damn phone call that was never going to fucking happen.

I cried on the way to the wedding. I also cried because of how fucking frustrated I was because blake's driveway is the worst driveway I've ever fucking seen and on one side of it, it has all this mud and rocks and I couldn't even pull in yesterday because his dad decides to have construction workers over every fucking day. He also could have done this years ago instead of waiting until the last minute to do crap. But yet again he always fucking waits to the last minute.

I just don't know what people expect from on here. I can't be happy every day of my life. I can choose to move on and choose to keep fighting but I can't just wave a magic wand to make everything ok. Thats not me. Sometimes my entries will be sad.

I can't be susy sunshine every day and I think its rude that people think you're horrible if a lot of what you write is sad and depressing. People really don't fucking understand depression.