In my typical slapdash fashion, I’ve gone and ordered a peach tree to put in my food forest. I also dug a random spot for it that I feel is far enough away from my house. I am sorta halfway researching, but honestly the information out there feels so overwhelming as a beginner that I feel like maybe the best way will be through trial and error. OR…maybe I’m justifying my desire to plant stuff.
I miss DW so much over the weekends when we’re in less touch. The time zones can be super hard sometimes. He still did message me, and we both watched the movie, “Prey” yesterday. Even if yesterday for him is now today for me. I like to think of it as him being 7 hours behind me but in tomorrow.
It’s probably good there’s a limit in these ways because I feel so obsessed with him. Not like in a creepy stalkery way, but just in a super fangirl type of way. He’s been sharing his music a lot with me and asking for my opinion/feedback. Me. I’m hardly a professional musician. It really makes me feel valued that he does value my opinion. I’ve been taking notes on his podcast too and providing feedback for that.
He’s slower to reveal these sorts of things to me partly out of modesty, I think. And partly out of a need to have his life be a bit private. Our relationship being strictly online, I do understand him wanting to practice internet safety and I respect the space he sets for himself because it’s important for everyone to have space and boundaries. I just definitely enjoy being let into that space when he feels ready for that. It makes me feel special too know anything about him.
That could be my addled and worshipful brain as a result of our power dynamic, but I also think it’s partly that he’s just a magnetic, empathetic, thoughtful, creative, hardworking person who is worthy of admiration. I’m drawn to his brand of masculinity. He’s tender and respectful and attentive…but then also has his more earthy primal side which is like…such a perfect balance.
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