Birthdays And Bother! in General Randomness

So Saturday is my birthday. I love birthdays but I hate getting older. Does that make sense? I'll be 33 and I wouldn't mind so much if my life were better. I still live with my parents. Don't have a girlfriend. Don't have a car. Don't even own a cell phone. All of these things are what they are because I had a dream. Children: don't believe them when they tell you to "follow your dreams" or "You can be anything you want to be when you grow up", its all rubbish! This is a joke and I can't remember who told it but could you imagine if someone had said that to Shaquille O'neal and his dream was to be a jockey? But it is true, he would be a terrible jockey and would crush the poor horses. So you have to look at the factors that circle your dream. Is your dream even a reality? Do you have the talent to accomplish your dream? And then does your dream depend on outside factors? My dream was to be a writer. Is that a reality? Yes, it is entirely possible to be a writer. Do I have the talent to accomplish my dream? Absolutely, I'm actually a very good writer and have, in fact, written four novels already, as well as 130 short stories that can be put together in a book or books. Does my dream depend on outside factors? This is where I'm screwed! There are many outside factors holding me back. Mostly financial. It seems everywhere I turn, every road I take towards publishing calls for money. I do actually have one book published and it is out there for people to buy but my publisher is keeping it a secret. So I gave up on working and started writing! I've been doing it since 2001, though I've had some set backs, like my computer crashing and deleting my fourth novel, forcing me to rewrite it from memory but that is done and now I'm almost finished with my fifth novel. But what really do I have to show for it? For many years I told myself never to regret being a writer but sadly I have come to that point.

But on a lighter note I am looking forward to my birthday. My sister is taking me to the opening day of the Renaissance Festival. That'll be great fun.