Unapologetic in The Next Chapter

I went on a date tonight.

Too soon? Likely. Bad idea? Probably. Do I care? Not a fuck given.

I’ve spent too long being emotionally numb in a horrendous marriage to a man who treated me like I was invisible.

He’s younger than me. Professional. 6‘1. A body you can only get from being active outdoors. Bright green eyes. Softly chiselled face. The type of guy who walks into a room and every woman notices. He’s beautiful.

He’s also intelligent, genuinely hilarious, insightful, and surprisingly shy.

It was one of those dates where conversation was easy and we talked until the bar lights shut off. He told me how beautiful I am, kept studying me when he thought I wasn’t looking, caressed my hand, was attentive and sweet. He brushed my hair out of my eyes and kissed me in a way I haven’t been kissed since I was young. My lips are raw, his aftershave lingers.

I feel alive.

He’s asked to see me again next week and I’ve agreed.

I don’t know what the future holds, and I honestly don’t care. After spending years with a man whose greatest compliment to me was “you look…pretty”, who flinched away from any kind of physical contact and made it clear he actively disliked me, this is what I need. I need to feel desirable and desired. I need to feel like I’m not invisible. I need to feel like I am worth the space I fill in this world. In return, I have so much life, energy, and passion to give.