I’m writing this here because I can’t talk to anyone about it and I feel so completely isolated.
My daughter is autistic and bipolar 1. She’s on medications, mostly stable, but it’s been a long journey. We’ve tried to guide her towards an independent life, and she’s been doing really well at uni, I thought we were over the rough patch.
Tonight I got a text from her housemate saying she’d locked herself in her room and hadn’t left in three days. I phoned and daughter was hysterical, saying she felt dirty and didn’t want anyone looking at her. I said I’d come and get her, stop off at hospital to get her meds checked. She agreed so I drove and collected her.
Just as we pulled into the driveway she jumped out the car screaming she couldn’t trust me, she doesn’t know me, and bolted. I tried to follow but she was hysterical, lashing out.
It took 6 police units, 10 search dogs, and a helicopter to find her over 6 miles away, walking through a field aimlessly. She told the police officer that I’m not her mother, that I had kidnapped her and was abusing her. They took her to the hospital.
She’s currently sedated and awaiting evaluation. The police phoned her housemate to clarify the situation, and was dutifully informed that I am indeed her mother and did not, in fact, kidnap her. Due to how distressed and volatile she is right now, the hospital have said its best I wait until she’s stabilised before visiting. So far she’s accused the nurse of poisoning her and the doctor of trying to steal her organs.
4.30am and I’m sat here exhausted, terrified, heartbroken. I’m not taking her accusations personally, she once accused the cat of trying to steal her soul for the bone collector during an episode, but I’m broken. I don’t know where to turn, what to do, how to help. I just wish her life wasn’t so complicated, such a struggle; she deserves the world and right now her world is inside out.
Last updated May 14, 2022