Just Us, Plus in (W)hole

So- first off- Milo had his first dose of Dexedrine this morning. It's the oldest stimulant med used to treat ADHD, and it's approved for kids 3 and up... so lets hope this helps, because we're kind of out of options for his age range. He's eating a pancake and took his meds a half hour ago, hopefully it doesn't kill his appetite entirely.

I've been trying to order my official transcripts for like a week now but I can't get the websites to work, ARGH! I also need to go up to UAF and have my advisor sign off on a piece of paper in my Teacher Licensing application. I'm anxiously waiting for my degree to show up in the mail, and I'm super excited about that :)

A few people have asked about why me and the kids would be moving out without Ross.

There's a lot of reasons. If you read my OpenDiary, you'll probably recall that he and Kasin don't get along, like.. at all. They fight all the time, about everything. Ross nitpicks endlessly. He has an anxiety disorder, as well as depression, and he refuses to treat either one. He took anti-depressants for a short time, and it did help him noticeably, but not enough that I didn't think he also needed an additional anxiety medication.. his Dr said he felt that the anxiety was pretty minimal, which I'm sure was because Ross made it sound that way... it's actually pretty extreme anxiety. He can't sit still most of the time, he rearranges the furniture and pictures and posters on the walls all the time... it's frustrating. He HAS to clean things all the time, but he actually isn't very good at cleaning, so he just shuffles clutter around and hides things from people. He doesn't like stuff to be out on the tables or the floor or anything, he doesn't like to see anybody's stuff, so he stacks it up and moves it, which is freaking annoying because it's not HIS stuff, and then he never remembers doing it so I can't find my sh!t later when I look for it. I HATE THAT!

He's also just kind of gross. He hocks lugies in my bathroom sink and doesn't rinse them out, just leaves them there. SICK. He shaves his own head in my bathroom and leaves hair EVERYWHERE all over EVERYTHING, and I HATE IT. These are little annoyances that I could easily handle if he was at all pleasant in any other way.

He criticizes all of us all the time. The other day he smacked Milo for waking him up. UHM, not cool. I thought he and I had agreed we weren't going to be smacking or spanking him because it makes him more aggressive and doesnt seem to work as a discipline tactic. Ross had woken up at like 3am that day and was super grumpy and freaking out about everything that day.. he was being nasty and rude. He has the tendency to call Kasin "retard" (Kasin, who got straight A's first quarter, and has been in ELP (GT) since 1st grade.) or he will tell Kasin "Well, I guess you're not smart enough for blah blah blah" and it's just ridiculous. I've told him over and over to knock it off, that it's not okay, and he doesn't stop. So. I can't leave them alone together at all, and I have to do all this back tracking with Kasin to explain that Ross should be taking medicine that makes him easier to deal with and that he doesn't really mean the things he says but he's really unhappy with himself and it makes it hard for him to be nice to other people, and he doesn't really know very much about kids and it doesn't really matter what he thinks, anyways.

As you can imagine, this causes even more friction between them, because then Kasin doesn't listen to Ross when he tells him to do something, and Ross gets pissy about that, too. It's a whole on going horrifying cycle. Ugh. And of course, this strains things between Ross and I, as well. I'm grumpy all the time, because he gets stressed out and mean and it makes me stressed out and angry, too. I don't have as much fun with the kids because I'm constantly worried they will do something to piss Ross off. We all tiptoe around him and his attitudes. It's not fair to anyone. If I could afford to move, I'd be out of here... but now that I have babysitting lined up for the whole summer, I'm kind of stuck here till fall, anyways.

An hour after Milo's had his meds and he is a weeping, whining ridiculous mess. Nothing is making him happy, he doesn't know what he wants, and he can't stop yawning. Awesome. Ugh.