Why do we wait Why do we long for what will NEVER be? in Questions...

When things go right or wrong, I find myself dialing my old number. Logically, I know all I'll get is the same recorded message informing me the number is no longer in service. Still there's a tiny voice saying, "daddy has to answer eventually". But I know he never will.

I long to rewind or at least revisit certain points in my past. To drop very unsubtle hints on my past self about choices and chances that wreck us, to point out that those we love most won't always be there so better love them while you can. Slap the crap out of that girl I was, because the things she thought were so terrible, honestly mean nothing. But I know it'll never happen.

From years of Disney stories, years of reading romance novels, watching movies, and meeting a few males who knew EXACTLY how to exploit my deep rooted need to be loved and desirable, I've learned that it's pretty much all BS. There's no all in one, perfect. The hot ones are either assholes, gay, taken, or "just fun". The nice ones are usually, too short, creepy, or (if they're good looking +nice) taken. Why is it too much to ask to find one that's: tall, good looking (doesn't mean model hot), nice, without chewbacca syndrome, willing to be monogamous, and fun? But (me) finding him is never gonna happen.

There's a longing in every heart for something wholly unattainable, for whatever the reasons. But why?