He Made It Look Easy in ::2022:: The Woman In The Mirror

Today would have been my dad’s 61st birthday. Last year, he was at my stepmom’s house in Walnut Creek.

I spent the night on the 5th then woke up early to get huge balloons. Blue, silver and white. And two big silver number balloons 6&0.

I got him a $60 gift card and a birthday card. I wrote in the card ‘you make it look easy’. Which he did…

He was paralyzed. He used to be in the Air Force and he was a football player in college. He loved to work out back in the day and you could tell. No steroids. Just pure willpower.

I don’t know who started the rumor but apparently someone in his family has been telling everyone that he had been in a car accident and that’s why he was paralyzed. No. That’s not true AT ALL. His paralysis was due to an old, untreated back injury from DECADES ago in the Air Force. I’m not sure about all the details BUT his ability to walk slowly began to deteriorate. He started having trouble around 2011.

I had just moved back to California from Arizona and he came to see me, my mom, and my brother at our house in Hayward. Me, my brother and my brother’s friend went to a bar called Dirty Bird by our house. We were all on the patio out back smoking. All of a sudden, my dad’s knees collapsed inward. We all looked at him kinda weird and we’re like “Are you ok?” And he’s like “No”. My bro and his friend had to help him to the car.

Every time I saw him after that, his walking kept getting worse and worse. After about a year, he could no longer walk at all. He said he had a lot of painful spasms in his legs too.

He’s s a Veteran so he started being seen at the VA. They gave him a diagnosis and performed surgery on his back. They said he had spinal damage from an untreated back injury that is common for people who jump out of planes (which he used to do). The surgeon said his spine looked like a rubix cube when they opened him up.

The surgery helped temporarily but he still couldn’t walk.

He had a lawsuit against the military which he was most likely going to win because the military never did a physical upon his discharge so there was no way for them to PROVE that this injury didn’t happened in the military (which it did) like they were saying.

He was always so positive and he made the best out of his situation but I know it killed him. Losing his independence? Having to depend on others just to eat? I know that just killed him.

That’s why I’m happy for him. I know he was very unhappy deep down. Even though he never let it show, I know he had so many plans and wanted to travel all over the world. I know he felt stuck a lot.

He made it look easy.

I wish I could spend more time with him. I wish I could call him.

The only man who will ever love me unconditionally, is gone.

I’m sad today.

Trying to stay busy and cleaning a lot since RBT is coming on Tuesday.

RBT has been less than supportive. We spoke earlier and I said “today’s my dad’s birthday”. He didn’t say anything. Like… Nothing at all. I mean, I probably said it numerous times yesterday but still. Idk. I don’t know what I even expected him to say but something would have been nice.

Sidenote: On Wednesday, my mom cracked an egg and there were twin yolks inside. Then, on Saturday, I was making banana nut bread and one of my eggs had twin yolks. Weird. I looked it up and it said twin yolks are 1 in 1,000. 🤯 I thought it was pretty cool! Everyone I told thought it was pretty cool. I told RBT to tell his mom and she was like “So?” What a hater!! Whatever, some people are just fucking miserable… And she’s one of them. Smh.

One more thing, then I’ll go…

my stepmom was being a bitch about my dad’s belongings when we were cleaning out his house. So, I was the first one that got there and I found his Bulova watch and put it aside for myself…

He bought me a Bulova for my 21st bday and I still have it. He bought himself a Bulova not too long ago and I wanted it because it would be like a his/hers type thing…

When my stepmom came in, she took it out of my stuff and I was like “I wanted that.” She’s like “Well, we’ll talk about that” and never gave it back.

She was SO adamant about finding this Movado watch that he had that’s worth A LOT.

My dad’s situation was complicated but he also had a girlfriend/ caretaker (Cher). So, Cher had some stuff at the old house and said she needed to come get it. KB hates her so I told KB to leave and get food while Cher picks up her shit.

Before KB leaves she tells me to ask Cher where the watch is or if she’s seen it and she sent me a picture of it.

So Cher shows up and KB keeps texting me asking if I asked Cher about the watch. I’m cool with Cher so we’re talking and stuff all chill but KB is blowing me up.

I finally ask Cher about the watch and she says she hasn’t seen it but that he used to keep it in the bottom drawer in a dresser in the living room. I go in the drawer and TA DAAA! The watch is there. In the box, in a velvet jewelry bag. I shove the jewelry bag in my hoodie pocket and pretend the box was empty. I’m like “Here’s the box but it’s empty”.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I’ve only told my mom and my 2 best friends. I’m not telling anyone else. Fuck KB. She wants to take all my dad’s shit from me. I even told her “KB, I don’t mean to be rude but, when you die, your family’s gonna get all my dad’s stuff”. She said that we can sign a notarized document saying that I get it all. I’m like… BULLSHIT!! They can’t give me what they can’t find. When she dies, her family is going to ransack her house and call me once all the valuables are gone- hell, if they call at all.

So yeah, my dad gave me that watch… And I’m taking it to the grave.

Maybe if KB wasn’t being so bitchy and greedy, I would have given it to her but taking my dad’s shit from me really pissed me off and I’m not giving her SHIT. She got everything else. She even tried to keep his weight set.... My brother said he wanted the weights and she’s like “Oh, I’m keeping those”. And it’s like WHY???? You’re a 50 something year old woman who stays home with her 94 year old mother all day. Why the FUCK do you need a weight set?

I understand that part of her grieving is hoarding my dad’s shit but she really needs to be considerate of his children.

There’s more to this but I’m typing this on my phone and my neck hurts.

Buh Bye!

Missing my dad, TheMinx

Sunrise: 03.06.1961
Sunset: 02.20.2022
😔