Lush/The beginning of the end in A Life Uncommon

Ohhhh my laaaaaaaaaaaaaawd

I tried a more intensive yoga style and my legs are on fire three days later, no joke. I think today they hurt worse as a c-c-c-combo breaker though, lack of sleep + fetal position = ouch anyway.

Jack mentioned going out last night but ended up staying home with me, as his BFF and partner stopped by and talked him into hanging out at home and building a fire. Okay, so, it was more like me saying hey I want to build a fire before you go because I'ma be alone and I need entertainment. And then I went to do bedtime and when I reappeared, fire. But that took too much effort to type and..oh, I guess I already did.

So then he got beer, and I had a tiny smidge of wine, but I did smoke. We stayed up until 1am, which only really sucks because I've been up since 6. And the worst part is that Gavin is still asleep - hasn't woken all night. It's now 8:40am.

This is night #2 he's slept. He woke yesterday at about 630 and nursed back to sleep in my bed, sleeping til 830 (I was up at 7 anyway, but he got sleep! Hallelujia!). Today he didn't even wake to nurse. It's bittersweet for me. (Oh I hear him!) I'm familiar with the natural weaning pattern.....some nights he'll wake and nurse, others not, until one day I realize it's been two weeks. My boob isn't even sore, so that says how often he nurses lately.

But it's sad, because even though I've been damn near desperate for sleep and weaning for the last uh........since birth (wink wink), it's the end. My baby is going to be two, and he's weaning, and he's not a baby anymore. The beginning of the end, and it's really the end.

I feel so blessed to have had such an awesome nursing relationship with him for so long, and I know it's worth all the efforts and tears, but I'm allowed to be sad.

(He didn't ask to nurse just now getting up, either. Sniffle sniffle)

Anyway, I gotta do some work while they're behaving. xoxo

-P