For the past two days I've been sorting through every thing in this house, setting aside things for a yard sale and tossing things that are broken, stained, etc. We've been living in this house for two years and I've never done a proper purge, and now we're at a point where a little extra money would really be helpful, so I decided on a whim Wednesday to have a yard sale this weekend.
If it were up to me, 95% of the kids toys would go. They have so many, and their rooms stay so cluttered that it's a daunting task to clean them. And forget having them clean!
The kids are not cooperating well today. I only asked one thing of them this morning: if they weren't directly helping me out, please stay out of my way. Guess how well that went. O.o Every five minutes I've been breaking up a fight, stopping Logan from unpacking a box I just packed...I hit the end of my rope ten minutes ago and declared 45 minutes of quiet time during which they are not allowed to get off of their beds. They can read or play quietly with small toys, or take a nap if they feel like it, but they can't leave their beds except to use the bathroom.
The side of me that constantly needs peace, quiet, and a personal space buffer has really been struggling this week. I'm yelling more than I like to, reacting to situations too quickly, because my nerves are so jangled. I can't process the noise and the daily chaos around here without frequent bouts of quiet and alone time, and when I don't get that, I fray easily.
I used to think my mom was ridiculous when she would nearly have an anxiety attack from being around the kids for longer than a few hours at a time. After all, she raised her own kids, she should know what it's like, right? But when they've spent 45 minutes screaming at one another of the stupidest thing, my anxiety level goes through the roof. I'm starting to understand now, a little bit.
I just try to keep reminding myself that this, too, shall pass. They will, someday, be a little more grown, be a little less self centered and aware of how their behavior affects other people. I'm a very empathic person, and I've tried so hard to get them to see how their actions and words have consequences for other people's feelings, but it's difficult when they are so young. So, I just keep plugging away at it.
My convalescence after dental surgery next week is going to feel like a vacation.
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