I’ve spent all day in bed, lacking motivation to do anything other than watch movies and eat junk food - I ate cake for breakfast.
Told my boyfriend that I don’t want to live anymore, he said he wants me to live and I know he means it. I’m just alone no matter what anyone tells me. Today he has the day off work and I am unfortunately unemployed due to a backstabbing bitch but that’s a story for another time… He asked me what I was doing and if I had plans today, I said no I don’t have plans, he read that message 9 hours ago and hasn’t responded. The thing is… he has Aspergers, so sometimes it’s difficult for him in certain situations and I know he doesn’t mean it but it’s difficult.
My panic attacks have started to come back even worse than before and I can’t get out of my depression rut, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to afford next months rent now I’m unemployed. I have an interview tomorrow - only for a 20 hour contract for a job I’m overqualified for. But a job is a job and my rent went up by an extra £20 I know it doesn’t seem like much but I was already paying £600 a month.
I think I’m gonna start looking for a more affordable place, I mean come on I live in a house with 5 other people do they really need that £20 extra a month from all of us?
Life isn’t worth it
I don’t wanna live anymore
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