If I was in your position, I'd put down all my ammunition. in A Life Uncommon

I don't know, man. I don't even feel okay posting my relationship dramaz in here anymore, the judgment is heavy with ya'll. I love, respect, and adore all of you, and ask that you remember that this is my goddamn safe spot. This is where I come when I am upset and can't think clearly. You don't hear the good things, the wonderful things, the talks we have after I reach my peak and explode. You only hear one-sided anger and frustration.

It's ironic to get so many notes telling me I should just leave or he needs to man up or whathaveyou, because, you know, your life and relationship is perfect without qualms or moments of anger/frustration/disagreements. Just because you don't talk about it, that doesn't make it nonexistent.

Maybe I shouldn't post it, maybe I should uphold an image of happiness so that it begats happiness, but I prefer being real. I prefer writing it out, so that I can step back and re-read it and go, Ohhh, here is a thing I need to reconsider. Or, so that I can read it over and over and affirm things in my mind. Or, so that I can go back and say, look, I did this thing and in hindsight it was not so good, I handled it wrong.

What I'm saying is, instead of passing judgment, maybe you should consider analyzing your own bullshittery. No one is perfect, and it's laughable to receive "advice" from those who present themselves as such. Honey, I'm not THAT young and naïve.

With that said, man, I blew up this weekend and just collapsed into a puddle of frustration. TL;DR version:

P: Here are all of these things we need to work on actively, Jack, because I am starting to resent you and I don't want to do that.

J: I don't see any problems

P: That's kind of the issue, you never acknowledge it and that's working for you but I am stuck and angry and hurting from it, I do not feel considered or like I matter anymore.

J: I see what you mean, and when you give me examples I realize you're right.

P: That's great, but I am hesitant because you always see it/never take action

J: Let's work together to make a plan to work all of this out.

In all honesty, the conversation was pretty mild but did include a blowup when he sideways insulted my housekeeping (something I have never ever promised to be good at! My momma taught me to ignore life, not keep house.).

But meh, whatever.

I'm glad I got it all out, and I am glad he was receptive, and I am glad he said some of the things he did.

We went to Columbus on Monday and went to Easton Mall. It was the first time I've ever been there. That place is HUGE HUGE HUGE. I wanna go back!!

Bought some RayBans. Totally feeling guilty about it and considering returning them.

They're super cuuuute though.....

Mommy guilt!

Man, Joshua asked for pancakes so I made pancakes. Now he's refusing pancakes. Third meal in a row he has requested and rejected. He's GOT to be hungry soon, right? Threenagers :(