Actually, it’s easy to spot this. It’s nothing new and you’ll know it right away once you have the confidence and keep your eyes open.
Let’s start with school bullies. They’re typical examples of this lie’s favorite users.
They usually have reasons to target you. There are always things about you that they somehow resent. It doesn’t matter that you try to be nice to them. They’ve already made up their minds about you.
“You have no friends here. Nobody likes you.”
Sounds familiar? That’s what bullies usually tell you. They try to make you feel and appear small to their eyes. They try to isolate you from your surroundings, only so that you’ll feel helpless and all alone. That way, you’ll be too afraid to ask for help.
In reality, that’s not entirely true. Yes, there may be some other kids in school who take your bullies’ side and dislike you. Forget about trying to understand why; that attempt will only exhaust you.
There are other kids who don’t take your bullies’ side. They can either like you or simply don’t care. Don’t worry about numbers, though. It’s the quality that really counts.
At least, the existence of a friend or two who would stand by you disprove your bullies’ generalizing statement. It doesn’t matter that they still try to invalidate your evidence by calling your friends ‘freaks’ – as if they don’t count at all.
Actually, they do count. Those bullies are still wrong. They’re just trying to make themselves appear bigger and look as if they’ve got all the back-up that they need to bring you down.
In reality, they can’t prove their claim. They’re the only ones who dislike you, but they try to bring the impression as if the people around you have issues with you too …
“No Man Wants You If You’re Like That!”
Guess what? Misogynists have been using the same damn line too in order to oppress and control women. It’s also very funny in their case, though. How so?
For starters, it doesn’t matter how many statistics you show them, regarding violence men commit against women. They’ll be the first to loudly argue: “Not all men, not all men are like that!” – oftentimes like a broken record. (Yes, we know that not all of them are like that!)
Unfortunately, there are too many men like that. I don’t care about the statistics, because one is already a problem. Let’s not minimize the fact by saying: “Hey, no worries. The good ones still exist.” Yes, once again, we know. Believe me, it sounds practically dismissive, belittling the victims’ feelings.
However, when it comes to a few things they dislike about a woman, they threaten her with: “No man wants you if you’re like that!” What a consistency. They don’t even care that there are men who still like such women they don’t.
“No man wants me, or is it just you?” I sometimes feel like challenging them back that way. How can they claim that? Where’s the proof? Which men are they talking about? Have they done thorough research for all men around the world for that?
It’s impossible, isn’t it? Chances are, they won’t even bother, yet they can’t really prove the validity of their claim.
Since misogynists are stubborn as hell and willing to win their arguments at all costs, leave them. Let them all believe in whatever the hell they choose to believe in.
Just like the typical bullies, they try to make themselves feel and look bigger than they really are. It’s a sign of sheer desperation. It’s pathetic.
Do they say that no one likes/wants you? Chances are, it’s just them. They just want to appear much bigger than they really are. They’d like to fool you into thinking that they’ve got all the backup that they need.
So, don’t be afraid if you ever cross paths with either bullies or misogynists. They may use those lame lines to try to intimidate you. They simply assume that you’ll obey them right away, just to please them.
“No man wants you if you’re like that!”
Oh, yeah? Which men are they referring to? All men? Do they have valid proof? Is it true – or is it just them?
The thing is, your personal growth is your own damn business, not theirs. If you choose to change for the better, make sure that you’re doing it for your own good. It’s got nothing to do with them or anybody else. Why seek their validation? They don’t have to like you.
P.S. - Before you accuse me of being a misandrist, you can read again that I’m referring to “misogynists” - which could be both men and women (since internalized misogynists also exist). What I am writing is about what still happens in my country and I don’t belittle male victims. One user here has accused me otherwise and although I’ve already tried my best to explain, they still insisted that I am a misandrist and that I shouldn’t get upset that someone corrects me. Oh, well. The audacity to patronize me.
If you also still think I hate men, don’t bother leaving any nasty comments here, because I will simply block you. I think I’ve clarified enough here.
Last updated December 28, 2021