And So It Begins Again in A New Slate

How I found my self in OD years ago, I wasn't sure. Still, it was sad to let it go. Being the sentimental fool that I am, the closing of OD meant letting go of the many memories, both good and bad. I was not ready to do that yet, and it took some time and many sentiments later to say that perhaps it was for the better. Ridding myself of memories that are too happy might be good for soul cleansing. I could never turn back time. It is a must to move forward.

How am I now four long years down the line since Mongolia? Let us see. I went to Europe for a year, albeit reluctantly. Doing humanitarian work was good for the soul and the ego but I needed to survive.

In going to Europe, I had a grand plan. I would work whatever job was available as I pursue a Master's degree in public policy and program administration online. I managed to make the plan work but like any other plan, it was just a plan. I was admitted to the graduate school of my choice, alright. While in Europe, I managed to find odd jobs here and there. The problem was on how to sustain the two. I found myself struggling to get enough energy to work and study. I would start work at 6 in the morning and finish at 11 in the evening. Those people really got value for their euro. My off days were spent in this internet cafe managed by Indians who, perhaps out of pity, would give me discounts, just to finish my research papers. I passed one of my courses studying in bus stops. But still, I was beginning to get Extension grades from the school. In short, I was flunking my subjects. My health was spiraling downward too. A year later, I had enough.

You know when I left Mongolia, I had this crazy notion that the world is my oyster. My Europe stint was crushing my spirit and I had to make a decision. When I told people about my intention to leave, there were litanies I would rather forget. The usual drill - people risk their lives to enter Europe and there I was with all my legal papers and I wanted to go away. From this experience I have learned a valuable lesson in life.

Never let anybody tell you what is good or not good for you. Always take control of your life and happiness.

After Europe I went to Africa for a year. It was an entirely different story but I regained my sanity back. I was happier and more sure about what I wanted in life. In Africa I learned that it is alright to follow the dictates of your heart but you have to be ready for the consequences as well. More importantly, things do work out for the better in the end. All these unnecessary worries will kill your chance at happiness.

So here I am now, back in my homeland. I would rather be somewhere else but for now this is the best I could do. At this point in time and in my life, there are so many decisions to make, crossroads to ponder upon. But such is life, isn't it?