Inner Child in Life |2021|

I’ve been super emotional again, and can feel myself heading toward that tunnel of despair. So, I called the employee assistance program through work. Got some names to some counselors, and now it’s just a matter of calling to schedule something.

I also need to call and schedule a dentist appointment and a regular doctor appointment. Its been five years since I’ve been to one and over a year since I’ve been to the other. I’m just really bad about taking care of myself, okay.

It’s a struggle. It’s a process.

On Monday we had to do a site visit for work and ended up passing by an old place I grew up in (4 years old through 2nd grade). But it ended up being the wrong project. So we had to go to another location, which happened to be the place we moved after that and where I lived up until three years ago. It was really weird to see the contrast between the two locations and it brought up a lot of memories on my childhood and growing up.

It made me reflect on my childhood and it just makes me sad. I have a handful of happy memories, but a lot are painful. And it makes me sad for the little girl I was. This is definitely something I’m hoping to work through in therapy. If I can remember to call tomorrow - I have sticky notes around my desk.

Work has made a summit in Vegas in February mandatory and I am dreading it. Not so much the summit itself, but the traveling and the coordinating the animals. It stresses me out so much. It’s not worth it. In 2023, the summit will be local, just let me go to that one. But truly, coordinating someone to watch a house with 12 dogs, 2 cats, 7 chickens, a duck, and a parrot? It’s just so much to ask of anyone.

Anyway, I’m going to go read because that’s my escapism.

xx Shea

Last updated November 09, 2021