Welp I have a bladder infection. Or my birth control is digging into my insides. I recently had a very bad experience at the hospital in my area so naturally I am hesitant to returning there. I am stressing out in a major way, first of all I have no health insurance, second It could turn into a kidney infection, and third I am going through a huge fight with my boyfriend.
Signing up for health insurance is so complicated now a days. I am having a very hard time with the whole process. I decided it is essential that I acquire some by now. I thought I should wait until I make my move to Colorado in a few weeks though.
I often think the worst possible outcome is going to happen to me. My grandfather on my dad's side passed years ago from bladder cancer. I have noticed that I use the restroom very frequently during the day. Sometimes it is painful, sometimes it is not. I just have a scene of worry about every little medical issue in my life. I feel that is the only area that I am truly dramatic.
My boyfriends step mom insisted on making me a doctors appointment for tomorrow morning, and she is taking me to this appointment. To say the least I am extremely nervous.
On the other hand I need to vent about my idiot boyfriend. Last night he decided to take me out to dinner. on the way there he was acting odd, seemed like he couldn't keep his eyes open. Driving only works if you can see the road. I was mad because my life was in danger. we got there and he looked 50 shades of fucked up. Than I realized he happened to smoke to much heroin. we previously had a deal he was only allowed to smoke it on weekends, and he can not buy it. so I wouldn't be as mad if we stayed home, but he was embarrassing me in public.His eyes would not stay open for longer than 2 minutes if his life depended on it. Everything was slow motion.
After dinner he wanted to go grocery shopping. I agreed to come along because I thought we are going to be walking around who could sleep when they are walking around. Well apparently he can. By this point I am furious. He has let drugs fill up his whole life lately. We finally arrived home, and I commanded that he went to bed. I was over dealing with him at that point. Instead of going to bed he decided to smoke more. I felt panicked last night I had to check to make sure he was still breathing, and did not overdose. That alone scared me.
This morning he woke up for work. For a good hour he was violently vomiting, and I felt no remorse. After puking he decided to smoke more before work. Still not being able to keep his eyes open he left and drove to work. I am a huge worry wart, and he is really scaring me. I am not sure what to do, but tonight we are having a big long talk about this problem of his.
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