i have given up, i've stopped living in to vent

i have given up. Yesterday i couldn’t get up, i was just laying in my bed and waking up seemed impossible. I didn’t go to school and even if i did, what’s the point. I’m not interested in my future, nor in my present. I can’t do anything, and i don’t even think i wanna do something. I just don’t wannna live, all the things a living person does, i hate it, waking up, going to sleep, talking to people, hear them talk, with me or with another person. I hate do drink, eat, walk, feel things, even though i feel numb a lot of the times, but i hate that to. I hate to breath, i not being able to breath, i hate crying, i hate when i can’t cry. I hate to do anything, i hate being alive. Everything that happens i hate and i don’t want it. I take meds, but they just make me nauseous, wich makes my condition worst, i was already felling like shit and incapable of doind anything, and now i fell like i’m gonna vomit. Maybe this is just depression but i’ve had suicidal thoughts since i was eight, but this is different, i still have these thoughts, but i feel like i’m already dead, sort of, i’ve stop functioning, but even though i stopped working, i’m still being put to work, but i’m not working so it’s a all a waste of time. Eventually everything is gonna shut down, i hope.