Can we not? in Is this mic on?

Newbie to this whole journaling thing, if you’re reading along, be kind. Where the fuck do I even start? I’ve been unloading 20+ years of untold baggage and trauma with my new therapist. Can I just say, being honest about how truly screwed up you are really sucks. I’m on session number 8 or 9? and I dropped the biggest bomb I’ve kept quiet about for years. The look of shock and pity has brought back so much shame and guilt. Why didn’t say something? Your face right now is why. It’s out there. There’s no going back. Can’t pretend it didn’t happen and how long before other people know? Before I spill over and share with those who think they’re closest to me. I say think because I’ll never really let you in. I’m just waiting for the ball to drop and the walls I’ve built around me to crumble to the ground. I want to run. I want to escape it all and go back to hiding in the shadows. It’s safer there.