Holy crap, it's been a while... in The Mundane Ramblings of an Insane Mind

Uh… like 2 1/2 years. Sorry.

So, gonna keep it short. I still drive limos, but it’s a different company, and I’ve been with them for over 2 years. I’m still doing eBay.

I have this great psych doc who actually listens to me. Maybe like 4-5 years ago, I had a different doctor, and I heard about modafinil, and I really wanted to try it, for my ADD. He wouldn’t prescribe it. I begged. Pleaded. Just one pill. Nope. Wouldn’t do it.

So I just lost interest. Stopped going. Didn’t see ANYONE for a long time. Then my wife said, you really need to see someone. So, long story short, I meet my doctor for the first time… gorgeous Russian woman… this was pre-Covid, when you’d meet people in person.

Side note, though. I have to say, I PREFER having telemeetings. Saves on gas, time, that wearing a mask bullshit (not that I can wear one anyway.. more on that later. Maybe).

So, first time. I explain, I have ADD, was diagnosed bipolar, but I don’t accept it or believe it. She says, Oh, I think this one drug would help you very much with your ADD.. .it’s called MODAFINIL. At that point I realized, Oh, we have something special here. I’m not giving this one up.

And yes, it helps. Sometimes not at all, sometimes immensely. I get more focused.

But in the last two weeks, I started a new medication, called Abilify. I researched it, and half of the people said it was the worst drug they ever took, and the other half said it changed their life. I just prayed I was in the latter group.

The good news is I don’t have any negative side effects.. but I do believe it’s been affecting me. Like today. I was hyper-focused. I am dysfunctionally disorganized, and also somewhat of a hoarder. Not like dead cats in the attic hoarder, but more like DAMMIT I’M SICK OF STEPPING ON STUFF AND TRIPPING. Because I have undiagnosed dyspraxia. So today I cleaned my office.

Now, I’ve cleaned my office many times, but it never actually improves. Today, though, I moved stuff around, cleaned out areas I haven’t touched in YEARS, etc. My daughter is gonna be shocked. And also, I’m just totally sick of having SO MUCH CRAP. Less is more and all that. Listed most of my CD’s on eBay. Because I have way too many, and I can get pretty much anything I want on either Apple Music or YouTube.

But anyway… I really think it’s the Abilify that’s making me micro-focused. Because today I didn’t even take a modafinil!