Prompt: What tends to trigger envy for you? Why do you think this is?
I am envious of those that certain things just appear to come easier to them. I struggle with certain things I consider basic life functions, and the fact that they are so difficult for me makes me envious of those that do no struggle with it.
I guess an example would be people who are naturally charismatic or attract a lot of positive attention and friendships. I can be cordial and friendly when I meet new people, but I am always a bit closed off, and it is difficult for people to get close to me. I have definitely gotten better at this with age, but I do carry with me a deep sadness at my inability to “put myself out there.”
Lately, its also been that I feel like I lack that certain “glow” that some people have? Where they’re just lit from within, beautiful and enchanting. This isn’t dependent entirely on superficial looks or beauty standards, its just innate in them. I feel like no matter how much I work on myself, do my skin routine, eat well, try to be positive and engaging, I just don’t have that appeal, and I envy it greatly.
Although, I can already hear my good friends and partner telling me this isn’t true, so perhaps it’s all perspective. Or maybe they’re just trying to make me feel better. Who knows.
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