EMPTY BUNKS, EMPTY TOILETS in Adventures From Prison

EMPTY BUNKS, EMPTY TOILETS For the first time in recent memory, I was able to use the toilet without waiting in line! And not just once, but both of my trips to the porcelain bowl! Sadly, this really is a big deal. Over the last four years, I’ve watched as our population increased to full, and then beyond, recommended capacity. We were squeezed three men into a 10 by 10 foot cell, only those with seniority able to escape that fate by earning our two men – window cells. By the end there were 165 men living with only 4 toilets, 6 urinals and 8 showers. So standing in line became a daily occurrence. Recently, steps have been taken to remedy the situation and we are now down to about 130 guys, with more leaving everyday. I can feel the reduction of tension and it is great. Even the mellowest of guys, like me, gets very testy when in such close proximity to so many morons. And some of them are morons. The idea that their actions directly affect 160 other people just is too much for them to handle – so they don’t even try. I’ve been woken at 2 am to someone rapping tonelessly to themselves, to shouts of “My Nigga” across the unit, and about a hundred other lacks of social sense. It’s even worse during the day, when the exercise freaks complain that the bathroom smells like crap and piss! “Well duh,” I so want to shout. But I don’t because, more likely than not, they won’t understand why that is an idiotic comment for them to make. This month the Bureau of Prisons opened a new east coast men’s prison. It’s actually the prison where the author of Orange is the New Black served her time. The need for more men’s facilities drove all of the ladies out in March. So the call went out for volunteers to go to the new place and boy, was it answered. Almost 1/8th of our population is slotted to leave, which is great for those of us staying behind! I’m sure the release in pressure is only temporary, but until then…we poop in peace!