Out in QUOTIDIEN
- May 9, 2014, 10:58 p.m.
- |
- Public
Anne-Marie spent Wednesday night at her friend's house so that her support system, for her first day back to school following Dave's death, would begin from the moment she woke up on Thursday. Her dedication towards taking that first step was admirable, and I count it as a win that she made it until after lunch. Today, she stayed with me.
She wonders about those things we do not know. 'Was daddy afraid?' We have no word of any struggle against his encroaching death, and so I comfort her with the idea that as sudden and as massive as his M.I. was, there likely was no time for him to register anything at all.
I also chose Thursday as my Out-of-Death day. The hardest part was the drive home. The rush to make it back to my brave girl - and the reluctance to get back to the house that has lost it's home'ness - wreaked havoc on my emotions for 30 miles.
An entire week has gone by since I became a widow. How is that possible?! Where the hell does time go while our heads are bowed towards the grave?! Only Death could be so bold as to taunt us with life!
Katren...In Conclusion ⋅ May 09, 2014
Naiad ⋅ May 09, 2014
I wish I could just give you big hugs. Carl lost his dad in a motorcycle accident when he was about 16. I wish he'd had an amazing mother like you to stand beside him though it.
Silent Echo/Quiet Storm ⋅ May 09, 2014
i feel so bad for you and your daughter. i wish i could say the words or do the action that would make both of you feel better. but, since i lost my husband nearly 6 years ago, i know there are no words or actions that could possibly help in any way. all i can offer is prayers for your peace. it must be so much harder for you to have to be strong for your daughter and not be able to allow yourself to grieve as you need to. you have my heart and my prayers. take care,
motherofthree ⋅ May 10, 2014
And there will be moments that sneak up on you when you think you are doing okay, and something makes you remember him. I still see Chevy Silverados and I cry. I'm glad you daughter has some great friends to help her thru this. Our youngest was in college, and her college friends were so supportive of her as were her professors. Just grieve when you must. I saw this and I kind of like it as we didn't get to say goodbye. - "No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye, you were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why." take care. =^..^=
Linda ⋅ May 10, 2014
You continue to amaze me.
middle age pearl ⋅ May 10, 2014
Continuing prayers for you and your daughter.