exercise programs: the epitome of clickbait in Random Commentary

• They totally lie to get you to sign on, and that lie usually involves saying something like “you can transform your body with this simple one-minute move every morning.”
• They take 20 minutes to yap about some “science” that makes THEIR exercise thing different—reminding you at least 20 times that the clam who came up with this exercise thing has been some-sort-of-certified-whatever for 25 years—before unveiling the thing they’re trying to sell to you. And there you are, thinking, “I thought this was supposed to be a simple one-minute move. How can it be 20 minutes later and I still don’t know what this move is?” And you can’t skip that 20-minute video, because they know everyone WILL try to skip it, so they disable your ability to skip it.
• Either you give up, or you fall for it and buy whatever they’re selling only to find out that simple one-minute move is only 1 thing out of about 100 other things you’re supposed to do to ACTUALLY transform your body. It’s like saying “You can commute to work using less than one drop of gasoline!” And then after the pay wall, you find out that one drop of gasoline is part of several gallons you actually need to commute to work.

Marketing at its finest. Say something that sounds amazing to get people to pay for something that’s actually a huge pain in the rear.