It has been a while. Not sure why i'm even bothering with this prosebox crap. I don't have any noters or friends on here. Ha just like my real life.
It feels good to have a safe place though. Somewhere that I can just open up about it all. It's been hell the last couple of weeks for me. I turned 17. Big damn deal. KNow what I got for my birthday? A 25$ gift card to American Eagle. WTF?! I don't even shop at American Eagle, never have. Just another shot at me from my psychotic mother. Maybe I'll use it to buy something and then give it to a homeless person. Hahahaha that would piss her off for sure.
I've been fighting with Drew for a few days. Not good for me. I hurt myself yesterday. I couldn't fight it this time. I tried so hard. But it was the first time in a really long time so that has to mean something right?! I feel like I'm getting better...I have to be. I'm able to fight the urges more. I'm learning how to push back the horrible feelings and get to the good. It's just really really hard when I fight with Drew because he's my everything and when he's pissed at me I feel like my whole world is crashing down.
i don't feel like writing anymore. i'm off to lose myself in my music.
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