The Love of My Life in QUOTIDIEN
- May 7, 2014, 8:26 a.m.
- |
- Public
So many raw emotions, so I will be brief:
On the evening of May 02, I received a call from my husband's phone while I was out with my daughter -celebrating my first full paycheck from the new job.
The caller's voice was unfamiliar as he set about the task of announcing to a stranger, that her husband had just collapsed from an apparent heart attack, and that things didn't look good.
AM screamed - and I began this sort of panting groan. I contacted my neighbor, who came to collect us. Twenty minutes later, another call from Dave's phone. They were just now loading him in the ambulance, and the siren sounded in the background. They'd worked on him for that long.......I knew he was gone.
Though he flatlined in the ambulance, they didn't pronounce him until they'd exhausted all avenues. 19:56.
I collapsed in the hallway on my way to see him - sucked in a breath, and this alien sound came out of me...and wouldn't stop. When I lost feeling in my hands and feet, it came again and again in waves. 'How will I live? How can I live without the love of my life?! Nononono......' I no longer cry out the words....but the echo lives on as an eternal background noise.
The memorial is set for May 14th -our 32nd wedding anniversary at Kansas City First Church of the Nazarene.
A giver by nature, David was determined to continue giving until there was nothing left.
This week, two people will receive the news that their sight will be restored. His blood vessels will be used to restore precious circulation to save a leg, an arm.....a heart. Several people will receive pieces of his bone to help heal the broken - and that man carried enough flesh to supply burn units across Kansas and Missouri.
But his heart....they couldn't take his heart. The heart attack is the official reason. Anyone who knew him, however, knew that throughout his life, he graciously gave of it until there was nothing left.
...and he took mine with him.
PSA: Become an organ donor!
Katren...In Conclusion ⋅ May 07, 2014
Katren...In Conclusion ⋅ May 07, 2014
Deepest sympathies. Words fail.
Linda ⋅ May 07, 2014
Oh, Mj, I am so, so sorry. Tears. Hugs.
Silent Echo/Quiet Storm ⋅ May 07, 2014
prayers for you and your family. take care,
Naiad ⋅ May 07, 2014
Oh goodness honey. I'm so, so sorry. All my love.
Kate ⋅ May 07, 2014
God, I am so sorry. There just aren't words, but I'll give you what I know: you will survive this. You will.
MJ's Page Kate ⋅ September 14, 2014
Kate, you were right. I am surviving. More than that, I have returned to living.
Kate MJ's Page ⋅ September 18, 2014
I'm so glad, Sweetie. I am not here much, but I catch up and I've been reading. You are going to be OK! There will be set backs, it's not linear, but life is worth living. Big hugs!
FitLadyDi ⋅ May 07, 2014
Sending you love, strength and prayers...
whowhatwhere ⋅ May 07, 2014
How very shocking! I am so sorry for your loss.
:::super big huge hugs:::
sparklespeterson ⋅ May 07, 2014
I am so sorryhugs
Duke ⋅ May 07, 2014
I am so sorry. Just prayers.
Noodlebugs! ⋅ May 07, 2014
Sending deepest condolences, and knowing that there is nothing that can ever be said.
cricket_factor ⋅ May 07, 2014
I am so, so sorry for your loss!!!
Amelie's Twin ⋅ May 07, 2014
I too received one of those phone calls last September, telling me that the love of my life was gone suddenly, barely a few hours after I last spoke to him. Although we were together only three years compared to your lifetime, I just want you to know that you are not alone in your grief. In the arms of the angel may you find some comfot here.
My heart aches for you.
hot-lips ⋅ May 07, 2014
I'm so sorry for your loss, how awful for this to happen. Life can be so cruel, but it's very touching that your husband chose to help others by being a donor. Thinking of you xxx
raeven ⋅ May 07, 2014
I am so, so, sorry for your loss.
Leanne 🌈 ⋅ May 07, 2014
My deepest condolences for your loss. (((Hugs))).
A. Nony Mouse ⋅ May 08, 2014
Deleted user ⋅ May 08, 2014
Oh MJ. I am so so sorry. Sending so much love your way.
middle age pearl ⋅ May 08, 2014
May God's wisdom, strength, grace, and love wrap itself around you.
GypsyWynd ⋅ May 08, 2014
I am so sorry. you are in my thoughts and my prayers
GypsyWynd ⋅ May 08, 2014
I am so sorry. you are in my thoughts and prayers.
NorthernSeeker ⋅ May 08, 2014
I am very sorry for your loss. How unexpected and horrible.
motherofthree ⋅ May 10, 2014
I'm so sorry to see this. I lost my husband 25 months ago to a massive heart attack. I was the one to find him and I tried CPR but he was gone. We were married 28-1/2 years. My most sincerest condolences and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and friends. =^..^=
CPA2B ⋅ June 09, 2014
OMG, MJ - I just logged in after a LONG hiatus from Prosebox. I am so sorry to hear this shocking news. I don't know what else to say, except that I am so sorry for all of you...
ODSago ⋅ September 02, 2014
Sorry my note wasn't here then but it is now...yes, words fail as someone wrote above.
Seasons ⋅ January 06, 2015
I am so sorry for your loss. I have just recently found your diary here on Prosebox - I followed you on Open Diary as well. Although I can't completely relate to what you're going through I went through something similar a year ago. Thankfully my husband survived but I can't imagine my life without him. I can only imagine the extent of your pain.