Blah in Whats in a book?

It'd be so much easier to just bottle everything up. To not always think about every fucking thing that bothers me like how my living situation is always a fucking nightmare in every possibly way, including that I still live like a teenager and my family's horrendous tempers. The fact that I have to keep myself together from falling apart from jumping everywhere from jobs to everywhere else. I need a steady job with consistent income.

I don't care what anyone says. I could not stay at that fucking job. I know its bad to quit a job without another one to take its place but I was having serious anxiety from the job. I couldn't even enjoy anything anymore. Calling my husband on my lunch, crying. Trying to get extra help. I didnt want to get yelled at and told what to do so I lied and said I got fired. The job was not going to work out and my family would never move the fuck on if I said I quit. I already hear enough from my dad about where to apply to, how I should try to get my old job back. Fucking come on! Im NOT going to go back to a shithole job that didnt know what the fuck they were doing half the time, argued about taking your sup calls and still didnt have direct deposit after months and months of working there and them saying we would get it. It wasnt just that either. It was a million different things. If I wouldn't have quit that job, I know I would have been fired for performance like everyone else.

Off topic but Im really tired of asking people questions on their statuses on facebook and getting NO response but they'll respond to other people and don't get me wrong, Im all for optimism but do you have to post an optimistic status every day?

I don't know It just drives me nuts in a way. I don't want everyone to be depressed everyday but I don't want to be happy everyday either, it just makes me feel nervous that something unexpectedly bad can happen at any given moment. Just the way I think I guess.

Oh well.