Jeremy vs Jeremy in Fish On!

I just found out that all this time Randy thought I had a mad crush on Ron Jeremy, instead of Jeremy Wade.

I'm rendered uncharacteristically speechless.

Now, I ask you:

VS

Seriously, which one would you think I have a crush on???

A Note on the Making of This Entry:

In the interest of allowing you, Gentle Reader, to make a fair and impartial comparison of Jeremys, I made a monumental effort to find some equally revealing (or at least shirtless) pictures of Jeremy Wade.

Unfortunately, while it took only about 30 seconds to find explicit photos of Ron Jeremy -- including some I really didn't need to see -- an intensive hours-long search of the Internet failed to turn up anything better than the somewhat unsatisfying shirtless photo of Jeremy Wade posted above.

I do believe that I've now viewed every single picture of Jeremy Wade available on the Internet. Including the Monster Week promo one where he's wearing the shirt with one sleeve torn off, and all I can think every time I see it is that it's too bad they ruined what looked like a perfectly nice shirt when he could have just taken the entire thing off. I even followed a hot lead to what, in retrospect, might have been a gay website, where I searched through lots and lots of buff, shirtless guys who, sadly, weren't Jeremy Wade. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

Now, as a faithful viewer, I know for a fact that Jeremy Wade has removed his shirt in several episodes of River Monsters -- so, where are the photos???

Every time I thought I'd found one, either it was a blurry screengrab or a big-ass fish was blocking the view. I was even willing to settle for a wet T-shirt picture -- just for you, Dear Reader, just for you -- but I kept running into the same blurry and/or obstructive-fish problem.

If I were the paranoid sort, I might wonder if this dearth of good-quality shirtless photos was a conspiracy.

I'm seriously thinking about investigating this mystery. What do you think? Should I write to Jeremy Wade? I know he probably gets a crapload of fan mail about fish, but I bet nobody with my keen powers of observation has ever inquired into the baffling case of the missing shirtless photos.

Maybe I'll see if he'll send me a good shirtless photo, too.

You know, just for comparative purposes. So you, Faithful Reader, can make an informed Jeremy vs. Jeremy judgment fairly and impartially.

Honestly, the things I do for you! I really hope you appreciate my sacrifices.

Last updated May 04, 2014