For some reason, spanking came up in my conversation with my therapist last week. Because of my dominant role in my marriage, spanking (and discipline in general) is part of my relationship with him. I have spanked him on a regular basis for years. At first I did it mostly because he wanted me to, but now I can say I genuinely enjoy it. He gets spanked when he does something to deserve it, but we also practice what we call "maintenance spanking" which is just a weekly spanking that is done just to reinforce my dominance over him. Maintenance spankings are done on Saturday mornings, and this morning it was my first time spanking him after having discussed it with my therapist.
For a long time now, the Saturday morning spanking was done as mostly tradition and habit, but today I really felt like I was showing my dominance and I enjoyed it more than I have in a while. He commented that it seemed more intense than usual, and I was glad that he noticed.
I was spanked as a child. I know how much that is frowned in these days, but when I was a kid it still seemed normal. I'm pretty sure most of my childhood friends were spanked too. It was reserved as a severe punishment for when my sisters and I had done something particularly bad. It was something that we feared and dreaded. I remember times that I was sent to my room for misbehaving and sat there wondering if whatever I had done was considered bad enough that I would be getting a spanking.
It was understood, though I don't specifically remember why, that when we reached age 8 my parents considered us too old to be spanked. As the youngest, I remember being the only one of the three of is that was still young enough to be spanked, and feeling jealous that my sisters didn't have to deal with it anymore.
Then I recall one Sunday when we were getting ready to go to church and my 9 year old sister kept saying that she was almost ready to go but moments before we should have been leaving, my mother walked into her room and found her still in bed. I remember my mother yelling at her and feeling awkward that I had to be overhearing her getting punished. Her room was directly across from mine, and the door was open. Then I remember hearing the well-known sound of spanking, and feeling surprised to know my she was getting spanked even though she was too old for that.
I can still remember that unhappy feeling in my stomach while listening to my sister getting spanking and hearing her crying uncontrollably.
I think I should hate spanking because of my childhood experiences with it, but spanking my husband is fun. And the occasions when I have made him cry, I feel like I've really accomplished something.
After he commented that the spanking was more intense than usual this morning, I asked him if he wanted it to be that way on a regular basis. I told him that I wanted the maintenance spankings to feel more like punishments than they had been. I didn't want them to just feel like a Saturday morning tradition. He suggested that I start doing them randomly instead of on a schedule, and I liked that idea.
My plan is to surprise him with another spanking tonight, and to show no mercy.
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