Wet Hair, Lather, Rinse, Repeat! in Life After 60

Maybe it is my sarcastic personality, perhaps it is my analytical mind or it could just well be I am a smart arse! (combination of all three?) I sometimes take the things I read and hear far too literal.
I am reading a book about what the world would be like after an EMP. The story starts with the main character eating breakfast. Toward the end of the first chapter, the character goes up to his room to get dressed. My first thought was, why is he naked?
And then there are my favorite instructions on a bottle of shampoo. Wet hair, lather, rinse, repeat! How many times do I repeat? Yes, I know that is extremely illogical. But to me, it’s like trying to explain what does a strawberry taste like? Or better yet, describe the color blue to a blind person. (both were assignments in my college English class.)
Basic communication skills are a lost art. We don’t make phone calls, we texted. We don’t use complete sentences, we use abbreviations and slang. And then there is the art of advertising. A misleading or false sound bite to get you interested in a story you could otherwise care less about.
Much like a newspaper to me, it is a waste of my time and money. I only read the main story, the comics, and the obits.