Has it hit you yet? in Give Me Mercy and a Minute now. I'm a bleed a little poison out.

This one isn't going to be in the same context as my usual entries for this book. I don't believe it will be a rant or fueled by anger, rage, or pain or anything like that. It is just going to be an entry to point something out. Obviously towards someone. Some of you know, some of you don't, if you (the person intended to) do read this then, I'm sure I will hear from you. Probably. Assuming you still stalk this like you did my OD. And considering how little we have talked recently, I'd say that's likely.

So how to begin this little observation? We haven't really talked at all really, lately. Let's see we talked on like, the 16th. You got mad because I said this whole thing with your psycho is dumb. Super dumb. Then some short convo about work and a picture you took on roughly the 20th. Then you got your bug, and told me a few days later randomly. Just said "I got my bug" I wasn't paying attention and didn't respond. Then a few days later you send "Why don't you talk to me anymore?" I responded with "You've been preoccupied, busy, or what have you." To that it took you an hour to say "ok." I had plugged my phone up and left it alone until morning. That morning I noticed you hadn't said anything else so I said "see^" The little arrow pointing at the above example that literally just happened. You haven't seen it yet. Because facebook does that thing that lets you know if you've seen it or not.

So, has it hit you yet? Remember what you said awhile back? "I don't have to choose between you and a guy, for once in my life." You seem to be incapable of maintaining both. Whenever you get into a relationship (usually with a fucking douchebag..and that will probably piss you off, but this psycho of yours is clearly too selfish and unaware) you stop talking. I've learned to not waste my breath trying to start conversations because you always disappear. It's not worth it to go through the arguments of me stating the obvious that you dispute. It's not worth the pointless claims you make and what not. When you date these guys (I'll call them guys in this entry for you instead of the obvious derogatory terms I prefer) everything else doesn't matter, and takes a backseat...if the backseat is the backseat of a limo...or another car even. I'm just waiting for it to hit you. For you to see for yourself. Which probably won't happen, because I always have had to point it out before you even make an attempt at acknowledging it.

Not too long ago, really right before our talking started to let up, you admitted without admitting that there's more between us than the just best friends thing, that you always choose to claim in arguments. And I'm not making some profound statement here or anything I am just pointing out that, you can not manage me and a boyfriend. Because if you put the time towards me like you do when you are single you see how I am just superior. That sounds arrogant. I am well aware of that. However, if we were hanging out, would I ever just up and leave without letting you know or taking you with? If you snooped around and searched for something I hide, would I retaliate with fury and rage or would I ask you what you found? If we had plans, would I cancel them because of something I decided to do last minute, or would plans with you take priority? Or would I call or text and check with you before making the decision? If you tried to have a serious conversation about yourself, would I only talk about myself in response, or would I talk about you, and actually discuss the topic you are presenting? Would I ever feed you that response of his, that I personally love, "I didn't think you'd find out." For starters, would I ever have a reason to pitch such a bogus line? You know the answers to all of that.

You don't have to choose between me and a bf. You never do. The only people to have ever pressured you to choose, have been your boyfriends. Wonder why that is. I could go on a rant about why that is, but I've said it all before. I've never asked you to choose. And I never will.

So, Has it hit you yet?