It's about to be all kinds of contested up in here. in The day to day
- March 14, 2021, 1:02 p.m.
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- Public
I got a couple of different lawyer’s names to look into about the contested divorce. I’m waiting to hear back from the lawyer I met with Thursday for more names from their office. Then I will be making an appointment with one of them to get this fight started.
I went and saw my parents yesterday. The kids hadn’t seen them in about a month and they were excited to see them and vice versa. While chatting with them yesterday about everything that’s been going on, we got on the topic of B. My dad said that he never liked the way my ex talked to B. That he always seemed to cut B off and shut him down. He said he didn’t want to interfere with us as parents, but he never liked what he saw with my ex and B. He said he thinks it’s why B doesn’t talk much now. It makes sense to me. And I guess as someone in the situation I never recognized how much my ex’s personality stifled B. I see it now that I’m outside of it. There were times that I would have to intervene and tell my ex to back off. He never knew when to do that.
My ex sent a text awhile ago. Telling me he has an appointment on Thursday so he won’t be keeping the kids overnight on Wednesday. (Not like B was going to go anyway…) I asked if he wanted them a different night instead. He replied with no because he has another early appointment another day. Then says he’ll be seeing them more anyway once we go to the lawyers. Just ugh. So then A wanted to talk to his dad. We video call him on Messenger and he talks to A. In the conversation that he knows I can hear, he tells A pretty soon he’ll be getting him on Friday nights and he’ll stay the night Friday and Saturday and come home on Sunday. Well you dumbass you could be doing that now. The only reason you weren’t doing that is because you were delivering pizza as a second job to make ends meet and the kids are absolutely NOT staying over there for any length of time when he isn’t there. He doesn’t realize I will be making that stipulation when I see the lawyer.
It sounds like I need to start printing off all the stuff I kept from when this all first happened last year. I have all the emails, text messages, screen shots of his chats, etc. That way whatever lawyer I meet with can have everything. I really didn’t want this to be a fight, but I guess it’s about to be one. Writing here is the only way I can settle myself down. I hate that my stomach gets in knots again just having to deal with this. We have been in a good place minus getting everything straight for the divorce. And just because I want to be able to LIVE, he wants to be an ass about everything.
Ellen Ripley ⋅ March 14, 2021
(((((hugs)))))) Best of luck! I'm sorry you're going through this.
SweetMelissa ⋅ March 15, 2021
Oh no. I'm so sorry. It's so hard to go through. And the one thing I wish someone had told me when I got divorced is that when the divorce is final it's still not completely over. I had my ex in my life in one or another until my son was an adult. I tried to keep my distance but when kids are involved the ex will find ways to just irritate you and frustrate you - not always on purpose - they're just annoying and you can't really get rid of them right away. LOL. I'm wishing you good luck and hope that it doesn't get too messy. Hang in there.
A New Me SweetMelissa ⋅ March 16, 2021
I love my kids and would wish not having them, but I know for sure if there were no kids in the picture this would be much easier. I could cut him out and off without ever having to deal with him again. But I've been the bigger person and really tried to work on things per the kids with him. And as hard as it is, I don't bad mouth him or even his gf in front of them. It kills me, but I don't.
Walking Crow ⋅ March 15, 2021
You've got this! I am all for the father's rights but in this case, your children are old enough to tell the court what they feel if it really comes to that. The fact he left you and how he left, as well as how he's been with the children and responsibility vs you should make this case much easier on you. You've been so open and understanding and put your children first in every way. You've tried so hard to include your husband for their sake. Considering you even asked your child's therapist for advice and have been so on top of this for them and such a fighter I do not think you will have much trouble outside the normal pains of having to deal with a contested divorce. -extra hugs- My thoughts are with you and the kids.
A New Me Walking Crow ⋅ March 16, 2021
Thanks! I will be coming with receipts so he can't say I haven't tried to work on things about the kids, etc. He is just so ridiculous, it's an annoyance at this point.