defective in Laurel's Prosebox journal book

  • March 2, 2021, 4:53 p.m.
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To those who are perceived as being “defective”, who might ever have been told to your face, “you disqualify for service or ministry because there is something wrong with you.”

I was told this by other Christians a very long time ago when I was in the middle of doing sincere ministry out of love for God.

It was during one of those official “accountability and assessment” meetings with The Leadership. You know, “the hot seat”.

I did not know that there was something wrong with me, until Christian Leaders told me this at the tender age of 21, soon after after meeting Christ.

Yes, it’s true that I was a new babe in Christ, coming out of a very messed-up past and still working out the whole thing about being transformed by the renewing of my mind.

Dear Leaders, you could have given me a bit of grace, 21 and a babe in Christ? Can you not believe in sanctification? Give me at least some time, if not some grace. No? Well ok then.

They thought they held the “keys of the kingdom” to allow me in –or not— to serve Christ. They thought they could decide if I was too defective to offer my gifts and work.

I want to tell you that all is complete BS and God will use you no matter what Formal Churchianity thinks of you.


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