Do you ever go to bed at night and wish that you wouldn't wake up the next morning?
I do almost every night.
On one hand, it's a scary thought, especially when you are a mother, and the only parent.
On the other hand, there's a sense of relief that comes with the idea. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of dealing with this broken heart. I'm tired of the physical and mental pain. I'm tired of wondering how I'm going to pay my bills. I'm tired of worrying about how much I'm screwing my daughter up. I'm tired of worrying about the future. I'm tired.
I just don't want it to be tonight or tomorrow night, because my daughter is here this weekend, and I would never wish for her to be the one to find me.
Is it odd that I wonder if my cats would really start eating me if I died...?

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