Out of Concatenation... My Rhachis is. in General Mental Anesthesia

Suppose I need to update you all from my previous entry. If you haven’t read it, I’m afraid you’ll be a bit lost, but you can still read on if you like.

I’ll start by saying Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate. Chanukah came and went this year, I never got to enjoy it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is Festivus tonight? If so, happy Festivus to those who celebrate poles and the un-killing of trees.

And now back to your regularly scheduled misery.

It’s been 5, going on 6 days since I was mistreated in the hospital and had to check myself out.

Five days and counting of the EXACT same pain in the EXACT same severity! I’ve only cried a few times, but the screaming is NON-STOP!!!

Long story short, I need an MRI, but the Dr. at urgent care who called 911 to rush me to the ER couldn’t write it up for me because she’s not my “Primary Care” Dr. It’s always some red tape bullshit!

So, I had to call my PC. I called my PC, but she said that she needed to physically examine me.

Now my PC is one of the few Dr’s I like, but I CAN’T MOVE!!!!!!!!!! It’s necessary apparently, but she wasn’t immediately available, so… I had to make an appointment for now (yesterday). Sorry, I’m going to timeline Tarrantino things up here a bit.

So, it’s Monday. I call PC, but have to make an appt for Wednesday to see another Dr. to examine me, fine, whatever.

On Tuesday, I had to see my Pulmonologist, she manages (or tries to) manage my allergies, asthma and pulmonary embolisms. I wanted to postpone (because I can’t stand or walk without screaming and crying in pain) but the next available wasn’t until April, no can do. Ugh… whatever.

I go on Tuesday, it’s hell from the moment I have to put on clothes.

They put me In a wheelchair and I have my appointment; of course she says she needs to draw blood, of fucking course she does damnit!!!! She also says I need a pneumonia shot due to my respiratory disease and risk.

Thankfully they let my mom in to wheel me around.

They needed to take an obscene amount of blood, and I’m already anemic.

So what happens? You guessed it! We’re 70% done and my left arm just decides: “Fuck this shit, I’m out”. and just stops working. Of course now the phlebotomist is moving the needle around inside my arm, in / out, in / out.... then she says she needs to try the other arm. FUCK MY LIFE!!!

I was not satisfied with the level of service I was receiving.

No one should be this miserable on such a nice day.

So, then Wednesday happens… More crying and screaming to get into the car. We get to the Dr’s office, they get a wheelchair. more screaming to get from the car to the chair when someone comes outside.

“Are you Jay?”

“Yes.”

“Your other Dr. already called in for the MRI, so you don’t have to be seen.”

WTF???

“What other Dr?”

He didn’t know.

Turns out my pulmonologist wrote up the order. She’s not even the right Dr. to do so. I hope that doesn’t hurt my chances of getting it approved by Medicaid.

So basically, this was a wasted trip just so I could suffer a bit more.

Now I have to wait until after the holiday to find out what’s happening. Is it approved? How soon can I get it done?

The waiting is killing me!!! For one… I’M IN A TON OF PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is not subsiding at all. I’m not a hypochondriac but what if it’s the worst case scenario? A spinal tumor. The very thought stresses me out (even though I don’t think that’s it). I just don’t want to wait. I want to know what the problem is and I want to know NOW! I want to deal with it.

I have Flexeril, Pregabalin and Dilaudid and I get ZERO pain relief. Extreme heat doesn’t help, nor does icing it.

Absolutely everything sucks!

Although I did receive a few donations and several shares to various social media outlets of my GOFUNDME PAGE so that was (and always is very humbling). Times are tough for most everyone, I expect nothing. I would give to others if I could, I always used to even when I had nothing; I truly enjoy giving, even if it’s something small, but it just amazes me to be on the other end.

So despite all I’m going through, I’m very grateful!

I’m glad I don’t celebrate Christmas though. Yes, my holiday was shitty, I couldn’t buy any gifts for anyone, I was hurting, but I think if I celebrated Christmas, I’d probably be even more depressed.

That’s difficult to imagine.

Ugh, I suddenly feel a fever coming on. My forehead / face just got really hot, my right ear is hurting out of nowhere… why??? I need some tea and a cool cloth, but I’m afraid of getting up unless it’s absolutely necessary. (Sigh…) :(

I very rarely manipulate any photo I take. 99% of the time, what you see is what you get. Sometimes I’ll de-saturate (make it black & white) but I don’t have Photoshop or Lightroom, nor do I know how to use them to enhance a photo, I wish I did.

But, being as stuck as I am, I was bored, so I took a photo of mine and just added a bit of color.

I need a bit of color in my life.

Happy Holidays.

Last updated December 25, 2020