Lifted in Hello.

It’s weird, after I wrote yesterday’s entry about being in a funk and apathetic, I had a read around to find my feelings are completely normal and valid. And just READING that made me feel productive again. I got out of bed, ate some lunch and took a parcel to my parent’s house. My dad happened to be just getting ready to go for a walk and instead of baling on him to come home and lie on the sofa, decided to go with him. And I really enjoyed it! I got really wet and muddy, came home, cleaned up and got into my pyjamas. I didn’t drink any alcohol and spent the evening listening to music on YouTube with John. I went to bed at about 11 and fell asleep listening to my favourite bit of Skyrim music.
Last night John’s brother messaged me asking what time I took Belle to college and could he have a lift please? I said I thought she was at college at 8.30, but I’d text and confirm later. He replied “ok, thanks”. I texted later to confirm and said I’d meet him at my car at about 8am. (I don’t have anywhere to park outside my house, so I park outside my parents’, which is about halfway between his house and ours). So this morning I’m sitting in my coat, car keys in my hand, when Belle messages downstairs to say she’s not going in today, second day on the trot. I was a bit agitated, but bit my tongue (and then later regretted feeling like that, because I wouldn’t have given it a second thought had it been something physical. 😔) Set off to my car, got there about 8.10 and John’s brother was nowhere to be seen. So decided to go for an angry drive instead. The drive gave me time to calm down and mull things over and as I’m driving I realised I’d driven right into an inversion. They often occur over Bassenthwaite and I’ve seen lots of photos taken from above them. I had my walking boots in the car, so decided I was going to climb a mountain to take photos from above. A few weeks ago I’d tried climbing Catbells, but gave up because dozens and dozens of people had the same idea. This morning I pretty much had it to myself. After about 20 minutes of climbing, the views were spectacular. I sat on a rock and sat for about half an hour, taking in the view, enjoying the silence. I got a bit of meditation in and felt so alive. And I suddenly realised how happy being outside makes me. And this is why I could never move back to a city. (My friends on Facebook are probably used to all the photos I’ve been posting recently!)
I got home, had a hot chocolate and a bath, made a ham broth. John came home from work and did all the washing up. John’s brother texted to apologise, he’d missed my text saying I’d meet him at 8am.
I think I’m out of my funk. I think.

Last updated November 26, 2020