Death and Dying in The start of something?

There’s something that annoys me whenever it comes up, and it came up this week so I’m going to write about it.

Last week, a friend of hubby’s passed away. He was only 53. We only found out by accident (they had been out of touch for various reasons over the last couple of years). It was a huge shock. When hubby first came to Australia, he made friends with this guy’s group. There were four couples involved in the group. They have all since broken up and moved on… including this guy who I’ll call JA. JA was a jeweller and gave hubby his first job in this country. Hubby loved it. Anyhow.. as I said, all the couples marriages broke up and JA eventually got together with some ditsy model. Nobody liked her (mostly as they were loyal to his first wife).

When I came along, I didn’t know any of the couples and so I just accepted JA’s new wife as his wife.. the person he chose to be with. Sure she was very vain but that was ok… They moved to QLD and we saw them when we went up there on holiday… later when that marriage broke up, he came back to my city and hubby and he caught up again. He was full of life… full of partying and drugs too… he was the kind of guy that was always scared he was going to miss out so had to use every second of the day. He was the life of the party…

All of that is an aside…. So we found out he’d passed away through hubby’s sister who was part of this four coupled group.
They were all very close… JA was bestman at hubby’s sister’s marriage… he is their daughters godfather… But hubby’s sister said she wasn’t going to go to the funeral because “I don’t like funerals” She said the same thing when my dad passed away and didn’t go then either. THAT is the statement that makes me want to slap someone senseless. “I don’t like funerals” I KNOW we all grieve in our own ways but who the hell likes funerals??? It’s uncomfortable for EVERYONE!!!!!!!!! Who the hell do you think you are by saying you don’t like funerals? Do you think everyone else is going there to have a good time???

So hubby and I went yesterday.

It was really uncomfortable and would you believe none of the four couples were there.. Neither was the 2nd wife (and I had to wonder if she even knew.. last we heard she was modelling in America) There were tons of people there, but mostly family . But I just thought it was sad that this partying group couldn’t farewell their friend..

It was an open casket. He looked awful in there. His face was really puffy and it seemed like a really tight fit.. but I had to see him to believe he’d actually passed.. I kept thinking this has to be some kind of joke…

It was a nice memorial and there were lots of nice things said about him. He’d recently tried to turn his life around again and had been spending quality time with his kids. He left three behind…. They spoke beautifully and it was very very emotional. I wondered if we’d turn up in the photo presentation but we didn’t.

It just really reminded me that you have to spend each day doing what it is you want to do. No matter what it is. It doesn’t have to be something grand… it can be little, just make sure it’s what you want to do.. and treasure your loved ones because we’re all going to be taken one day….