Stop and think, jackass. in Random Thoughts

Revised: 10/19/2020 3:14 p.m.

  • Oct. 19, 2020, 3:09 p.m.
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  • Public

Something I really should do more often.

So S has more or less confirmed outright that she does indeed want what she commented to me on Messenger, but I really gotta make sure I think this through.

What made me stop in my tracks during this install (right now, actually) was J commenting about it being a good thing to have human contact, especially this year. Now, I’ve known J long enough and well enough to know she said that without deceptive intent. If there is anyone I trust explicitly, it’s most definitely J. Though, I may be in trouble with her for a comment I made in reply that kinda crossed an unspoken line. But it made me realize, I’m risking putting myself in the same stress I was in with S last time. The main reason why I had to cut her off last time.

Call me wishy-washy, I don’t care. My goals are getting the hell out of washington poste haste. Getting involved with S, especially in that way, is risking my sanity and my ability to get done here what needs to get done.

I’ve had one song on continuous loop since I put my headphones on at 0930 (It’s now 1305), “My Heart Is A Bar” by Old Dominion. Damn.. talk about a song that really speaks to me. It really speaks about my past, and how I’m left feeling entirely too often. Only part I disagree with is a line that says “I’ve come to the conclusion that true love is just a delusion”. I can thank BL for being able to disagree with that.
I bet y’all are getting sick of me making posts with those initials on it.

Aright, I’m almost done on this job, so I’m gonna get done and get the hell out of here.

EDIT: The lyric is actually “true love is an illusion”. Of course it plays that line right after I hit “publish”. 😐

Last updated October 19, 2020

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