Today wasn’t a good day. My morning started off bad and it just kinda got progressively worse. I did manage to carve out an hour of precious time for myself. Went for a drive, played some of your music. Then I came back home and it was just chaos. I know they love me, but fuck, it really feels like they don’t sometimes. And it’s stupid things I get upset over, I know this. But, I just need a little bit of the attention to me. I’m so fucking lonely most days. And I know-I probably don’t help it by secluding myself in my room and I know this. But I can’t be around them all the time. They basically look over me and I feel like if they aren’t going to try, then maybe I shouldn’t either. So I keep to myself and when I do try to be part of what they’re doing, I’m shut down. So I don’t try. And I have a couple wonderful friends who try their hardest to keep me sane and above water, but it just feels like I’m drowning all the time. Sometimes all I want to do is scream. You and the boys help me. I can just put my earphones in and get lost in your music, in the stories you guys tell through the lyrics. But they don’t understand that. They think it’s some stupid obsession, something that’s unimportant. But it’s important to me. You’re all so important to me. I guess I just want to thank you. Maybe tomorrow will be better. If not, well, I guess we’ll keep trying. I’ll always have you if it isn’t.
-Tobesoloney
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